<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" version="2.0" xmlns:itunes="http://www.itunes.com/dtds/podcast-1.0.dtd" xmlns:googleplay="http://www.google.com/schemas/play-podcasts/1.0"><channel><title><![CDATA[Begin Within]]></title><description><![CDATA[It's all about trying our best and navigating through life, helping others along the way.]]></description><link>https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com</link><image><url>https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Tyze!,w_256,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa8206806-ca24-4315-aefd-0368279fa556_1080x1080.png</url><title>Begin Within</title><link>https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com</link></image><generator>Substack</generator><lastBuildDate>Tue, 09 Jun 2026 15:31:30 GMT</lastBuildDate><atom:link href="https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/feed" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><copyright><![CDATA[Lukáš Čabaj]]></copyright><language><![CDATA[en]]></language><webMaster><![CDATA[lukascabaj@substack.com]]></webMaster><itunes:owner><itunes:email><![CDATA[lukascabaj@substack.com]]></itunes:email><itunes:name><![CDATA[Lukáš Čabaj]]></itunes:name></itunes:owner><itunes:author><![CDATA[Lukáš Čabaj]]></itunes:author><googleplay:owner><![CDATA[lukascabaj@substack.com]]></googleplay:owner><googleplay:email><![CDATA[lukascabaj@substack.com]]></googleplay:email><googleplay:author><![CDATA[Lukáš Čabaj]]></googleplay:author><itunes:block><![CDATA[Yes]]></itunes:block><item><title><![CDATA[Who Taught You That?]]></title><description><![CDATA[How money, friendship, and childhood quietly shaped you, and how you start choosing your own way from here. Days 76-82 of 1000.]]></description><link>https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/who-taught-you-that</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/who-taught-you-that</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Lukáš Čabaj]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sun, 07 Jun 2026 15:17:20 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/5f52c855-3de9-4654-9f79-6a0d278e4a02_1200x630.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>The way you handle money, your friendships, and even a hard day, you picked most of it up long before you ever noticed.</p><p>Some of it still serves you. A lot of it doesn&#8217;t.</p><p>This week is about where those patterns come from and how you start choosing your own from here.</p><h2><em><strong>Here is what has been on my mind this week:</strong></em></h2><ol><li><p><em>Woman in our life</em></p></li><li><p><em>Intertwined</em></p></li><li><p><em>Money affection</em></p></li><li><p><em>Job applications</em></p></li><li><p><em>Real friends</em></p></li><li><p><em>Clarity comes from a place</em></p></li><li><p><em>Making peace</em></p></li></ol><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wx6q!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F84c5cb11-21db-441b-bfce-0999419a1dfa_3024x4032.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wx6q!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F84c5cb11-21db-441b-bfce-0999419a1dfa_3024x4032.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wx6q!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F84c5cb11-21db-441b-bfce-0999419a1dfa_3024x4032.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wx6q!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F84c5cb11-21db-441b-bfce-0999419a1dfa_3024x4032.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wx6q!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F84c5cb11-21db-441b-bfce-0999419a1dfa_3024x4032.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wx6q!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F84c5cb11-21db-441b-bfce-0999419a1dfa_3024x4032.jpeg" width="699" height="931.8399725274726" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/84c5cb11-21db-441b-bfce-0999419a1dfa_3024x4032.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:1941,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:699,&quot;bytes&quot;:4036403,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;On the walk in South Tyrol, Italy.&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/i/200987624?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F84c5cb11-21db-441b-bfce-0999419a1dfa_3024x4032.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="On the walk in South Tyrol, Italy." title="On the walk in South Tyrol, Italy." srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wx6q!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F84c5cb11-21db-441b-bfce-0999419a1dfa_3024x4032.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wx6q!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F84c5cb11-21db-441b-bfce-0999419a1dfa_3024x4032.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wx6q!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F84c5cb11-21db-441b-bfce-0999419a1dfa_3024x4032.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wx6q!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F84c5cb11-21db-441b-bfce-0999419a1dfa_3024x4032.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a><figcaption class="image-caption">On a walk in South Tyrol, Italy.</figcaption></figure></div><h2><strong>1. Woman in our Life</strong></h2><p><strong>What role do women play in your life?</strong></p><p>Without a woman, none of us would exist.</p><p>So we go all the way back to the beginning. To our moms.</p><p>I would say she is one of the most important people you will ever know.</p><p>I know some of you might have mixed feelings about your mom, or a difficult relationship, or some of you might not even know her.</p><p>Despite all of this, she is still someone who influenced your life for a very long time, and probably still does today.</p><p>Directly or not.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>This kind of connection never goes away.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>There is something deep about birth, about the fact that you came into this world.</p><p>Because nothing in life is a coincidence.</p><p><strong>How is your connection with your mom?</strong></p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption"><em>If you found your way here for the first time, subscribe and stick around.</em></p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div><h2><strong>2. Intertwined</strong></h2><p><strong>What do these three things have in common: money, concerns about the future, and distraction as escape?</strong></p><p>One of the biggest challenges young people face is the constant concern about the future.</p><p>A lot of questions pop out of these concerns.</p><p>How am I going to afford to buy a house?</p><p>What career should I pursue?</p><p>Where do I meet my potential partner?</p><p>When do I start a family?</p><p>And much more, passing through our thoughts constantly, every day.</p><p>So I&#8217;m asking: what is the solution to this?</p><p>And can we even solve something like people&#8217;s concerns?</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>I think concerns are a natural by-product of our thinking.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>We want to know what the future will look like, because humans don&#8217;t like the unknown.</p><p>The difference lies in what you are concerned about, and whether there is any real reason for it.</p><p>So what do those three things have in common?</p><p>They are intertwined.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Money causes concerns about the future, so we look for distractions to escape the reality we live in and forget about everything for a moment.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p><strong>Do you often feel occupied by concerns about the future?</strong></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>3. Money Affection</strong></h2><p><strong>How does money affect us?</strong></p><p>Here we are, talking about it.</p><p>It&#8217;s one of the greatest powers in the world, touching almost everyone on this planet.</p><p>Yet most people have very low financial literacy and little understanding of how to manage their money.</p><p>It comes back, once again, to our childhood. </p><p>To how our parents managed money, and how they taught us to do the same.</p><p>We all have different relationships with money because we come from different backgrounds.</p><p>Which of these descriptions fits you?</p><ol><li><p>You just received your salary. <br><br>Filled with excitement, you treat yourself to a nice dinner at the restaurant you&#8217;d been eyeing all month. <br><br>Tomorrow you order the sneakers and the jacket you saw your colleague wearing and liked a lot too. <br><br>In the evening, you go out to try the new pizza place on the corner because it looks really cool. <br><br>On the due date for your bill, you find yourself quickly transferring the money, hoping not to be late, again. <br><br>And just like that it goes on all month, until you hit the bottom one week before your next salary.</p></li><li><p>You just received your salary. <br><br>Filled with excitement, you put a huge chunk of it straight into your savings account and pay your bills right away. <br><br>For the rest of the month, you live low-key on a budget, shopping mostly for discounted items and skipping eating out to make sure nothing disrupts your plan.</p></li><li><p>You just received your salary. <br><br>Filled with excitement, the first thing you do is move money into your savings and investments. <br><br>After that, you pay the monthly bills. <br><br>The rest, you split into a budget for your needs and wants, making sure you give yourself the little treat the budget allows while still living the month with enough ease.</p></li><li><p>You just received your salary. <br><br>Filled with excitement, you just go with the flow. <br><br>You might save something at the end of the month, if there&#8217;s anything left. <br><br>But you might also end up in the red. <br><br>You don&#8217;t stress about the future because you feel too young to care about such things. <br><br>Worst case, you borrow money from friends or the bank to get through the period.</p></li></ol><p>I believe there are many more models of how people behave and what they do with money on a regular basis.</p><p>I treat money very differently now than I did 10 years ago.</p><p>I come from a regular middle-class family that never had much money, but I never missed anything as a kid either.</p><p>There were small trips within my country, but nothing crazy.</p><p>Looking back now, the way I was taught to treat money wasn&#8217;t really the smartest.</p><p>Maybe they weren&#8217;t directly taught lessons, but as a kid or a teenager you copy the patterns and behaviour you see your loved ones live out.</p><p>I started working from a very young age. </p><p>I was 16 when I got my first job, and I&#8217;ve been working ever since.</p><p>Back then I spent money without much thinking.</p><p>I expected money would always come, somehow.</p><p>I was lucky enough to go through very different experiences with money during this period, and they taught me a lot.</p><p>I went through periods where I had more money than I should have, and I spent it mindlessly on expensive shit. </p><p>Designer clothes, fancy restaurants with big tips, things I genuinely didn&#8217;t need.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>I thought spending money on these shiny things that make you feel seen would make me happy.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>That it would make me feel special. And it did, for a short while.</p><p>Then I realised that even if I kept earning that kind of money but kept behaving the same way, I wouldn&#8217;t get far in life.</p><p>It took some time to change my mindset about money and spending.</p><p>I read some books, but what taught me even more was the opposite side of the spectrum.</p><p>On that side I went through periods where my weekly budget was 20&#8364;, and I had to cook meals big enough to feed me for the entire week.</p><p>Let me tell you, when you eat the same thing for the fifth day in a row, it&#8217;s not that enjoyable.</p><p>The biggest lessons came in between these periods, because they kept switching back and forth.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>I went from not having enough money to pay one month&#8217;s rent and food, to buying designer clothes and eating in high-end restaurants, and back to cooking on 20&#8364; for the entire week.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Thanks to these lessons I learned a lot and made better decisions later in life.</p><p>I&#8217;ve more or less stabilised my finances by now.</p><p>It&#8217;s definitely not perfect, but now I at least know where to add and where to take from, to keep moving steadily forward.</p><p>If I had to choose from the options above, the closest would be option c.</p><p>It makes the most sense to me right now, and I believe it&#8217;s the right way to manage money.</p><p>Life happens, and from time to time you&#8217;ll be forced to take money from your savings because of some unexpected situation.</p><p>That&#8217;s okay, as long as you get back on your feet.</p><p>Don&#8217;t stay down and pity yourself.</p><p>Some people end up living on the streets, so be thankful if you have anything more than that.</p><p>We all have different financial goals.</p><p>And yes, money does make you happier in some way, because it gives you options and freedom of choice.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>But it&#8217;s far from being THE THING that&#8217;s going to change your life and make you the happiest person in the world.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>I once spent over a month traveling solo in India.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>One of the things I noticed there was that people with very little money and few resources were genuinely happier than many high-income people in the Western world.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>I would love to know about your relationship with money and what your monthly routine looks like.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/who-taught-you-that/comments&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Leave a comment&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/who-taught-you-that/comments"><span>Leave a comment</span></a></p><h2><strong>4. Job Applications</strong></h2><p><strong>What about applying for a job?</strong></p><p>I don&#8217;t know about you, but the job application process was always a pain in the ass for me.</p><p>I don&#8217;t know why, but it just feels overcomplicated and drawn out for almost no real reason.</p><p>I would always prefer to get a straight answer as fast as possible.</p><p>If it&#8217;s no, fine, just tell me why and I&#8217;m happy to move on.</p><p>If it&#8217;s yes, cool, let&#8217;s discuss the contract details.</p><p>All that fluff. Using the right words, writing essay-long cover letters, pouring my heart out about why I want to work for someone.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>It just feels useless to me.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>The same goes for all those descriptions of past experience in your CV, where you are supposed to include the percentages, the data, and other things no one really reads.</p><p>Let&#8217;s be honest.</p><p>What does a company usually want from its employees?</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>They want you to be useful, hard-working, and to not be a dick to your colleagues.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>That&#8217;s what you do on a daily basis anyway.</p><p>Obviously, you&#8217;d want the skills the position needs.</p><p>If you&#8217;re an IT person applying for a job as a nurse, it might not be in your skillset.</p><p>Is it complicated for a reason?</p><p><strong>What do you think?</strong></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>5. Real Friends</strong></h2><p><strong>How important is friendships in life.</strong></p><p>It&#8217;s nothing new to say that having real friends is one of the most valuable things a person can have.</p><p>Friends surround us from childhood and play an important role in our lives from then on.</p><p>As we hit high school and adolescence, the feeling of being surrounded by friends usually peaks.</p><p>We&#8217;re in daily contact with our peers and basically hanging out all the time.</p><p>Once we hit adult life and start working, our time with friends begins to shrink.</p><p>Something I heard recently in a podcast was that no one really teaches us how to build and nurture our friendships.</p><p>It struck me, because it&#8217;s so true.</p><p>We go through life meeting people, making friends, but sooner or later we hit a turning point where we start to realise that something has changed.</p><p>Year after year, we notice fewer people writing to us on our birthdays, fewer people we still have things in common with, and fewer people we keep in touch with regularly.</p><p>Our friend group naturally shrinks, and that&#8217;s the point where this whole thing comes into play.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>If we don&#8217;t know how to properly take care of our friendships, we&#8217;ll lose them.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>And I once read that loneliness is one of the strongest predictors of an early death.</p><p>Yet we still hesitate to tell our friends how much we love them.</p><p>We still put work first and keep postponing that coffee with a friend.</p><p>We&#8217;re way too busy to find the time to answer their texts.</p><p>Don&#8217;t let life occupy you so much that you forget about your friends.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Your friends will be there for you when you&#8217;re going through a tough time. Your work won&#8217;t.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Tell your friends how much you love them and how happy you are to have them in your life.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>There is nothing more beautiful in this world than having real friends to share your life with.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Be the kind of friend to others that you&#8217;d want to have yourself.</p><p><strong>Have you told your friend you love them?</strong></p><div class="captioned-button-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/who-taught-you-that?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;}" data-component-name="CaptionedButtonToDOM"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption"><em>If this resonated with you, share it with one person who needs it today</em></p></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/who-taught-you-that?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/who-taught-you-that?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p></div><h2><strong>6. Clarity Comes From a Place</strong></h2><p><strong>What do you do on days when you basically don&#8217;t know what to do?</strong></p><p>If you&#8217;re asking yourself, &#8220;wtf is he talking about?&#8221;, that&#8217;s alright. It&#8217;ll become clear soon.</p><p>You know those days when everything falls on your shoulders at once?</p><p>You feel like nothing is working in your favour. You feel behind in life, and on top of that, constantly tired.</p><p>You just don&#8217;t know what to do to change it.</p><p>Days like these suck, right?</p><p>What I&#8217;ve found helpful is to do the opposite of what many would expect.</p><p>Instead of pushing even harder and over-revving the engine, take a step back.</p><p>Preferably, get some rest.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Clarity comes from a place where you allow your mind to think.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>It&#8217;s a place of calm, with no distractions.</p><p>It&#8217;s like the feeling you get from shower thoughts.</p><p>They feel different from the rest of your day.</p><p>This is the state you want to be in. Not for 5 minutes, but for 5 hours, or even 5 days.</p><p>Your mind, body, and soul are asking for that &#8220;me time&#8221;.</p><p>So, what do you do on days when you basically don&#8217;t know what to do?</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>You take a step back, so you can come back stronger and with clearer thoughts.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p><strong>What&#8217;s your recipe for days like that?</strong></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>7. Making Peace</strong></h2><p><strong>How do you make peace with your childhood?</strong></p><p>For a start, I just want to say that not everyone needs to have childhood trauma.</p><p>It&#8217;s not a trend, so don&#8217;t be disappointed if you didn&#8217;t get one.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>By now you probably already know that your childhood shaped you, in many ways, into who you are as an adult.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>When you look back, you can see how certain moments shaped you.</p><p>As you go through adult life, you run into situations where it&#8217;s crystal clear why you react a certain way.</p><p>From stressful ones to joyous ones.</p><p>You learned how to react from your parents.</p><p>In romantic relationships, you discover patterns that might feel odd.</p><p>It&#8217;s like they aren&#8217;t even yours, but you do it anyway.</p><p>How come?</p><p>You learned that from your parents too.</p><p>Childhood is a beautiful time, full of lessons about how the world around us works.</p><p>At the same time, it&#8217;s the period when the outside world has the deepest, most unfiltered influence on our future.</p><p>As an adult, you choose what to believe in, and which habits and patterns of behaviour to adopt.</p><p>You make conscious decisions, because you have some outcome in mind you want to reach.</p><p>As a kid, you don&#8217;t choose any of this.</p><p>Because of this, we&#8217;re left with whatever our parents and our surroundings believe in.</p><p>At certain points in life, we come to understand what baggage we carry, and how deeply it&#8217;s rooted in us.</p><p>I think it&#8217;s a powerful moment when things click and the realisation lands.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>It&#8217;s like you were living blind, and now you can see.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>You can see all those moments that didn&#8217;t make sense before, and now you know why you behaved one way or reacted another.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>It&#8217;s not about using your childhood to blame everything on it.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>And it&#8217;s not about using it as an excuse.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Now you know the cause, so you can consciously decide, like the intelligent person you are, how you&#8217;re going to live your life from here.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Are you going to do the work to become a better version of yourself?</p><p>Or are you going to keep using excuses for being a dick to others?</p><div><hr></div><p><em>I aim to deliver the most personal stories, insights, and lessons from real-world experiences I have lived through over the past decade. </em></p><p><em>As I continue building my life and trying to be a better version of myself, I am documenting this journey and the lessons from my life for people who might need to hear them.</em></p><p><em><strong>- Luk&#225;&#353;</strong></em></p><div class="directMessage button" data-attrs="{&quot;userId&quot;:65219253,&quot;userName&quot;:&quot;Luk&#225;&#353; &#268;abaj&quot;,&quot;canDm&quot;:null,&quot;dmUpgradeOptions&quot;:null,&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}" data-component-name="DirectMessageToDOM"></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[What Your 100% Actually Looks Like]]></title><description><![CDATA[Some days, your 100% barely gets you through. On exhaustion, a missed day, focus, and small joys worth celebrating. Days 69-75 of 1000.]]></description><link>https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/what-your-100-percent-actually-looks-like</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/what-your-100-percent-actually-looks-like</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Lukáš Čabaj]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sun, 24 May 2026 16:49:24 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!tWt0!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f225f8f-71a7-4af6-bd85-f7a6717f4baf_4284x5712.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Some days your 100% barely gets you to the shower. </p><p>You drag through it, you miss something you promised yourself, and you start questioning the whole thing. </p><p>This week is about those days, and why getting through them counts as a win.</p><h2><em><strong>Here is what has been on my mind this week:</strong></em></h2><ol><li><p><em>Simple pleasures</em></p></li><li><p><em>The missed day</em></p></li><li><p><em>The task</em></p></li><li><p><em>Framing the situation</em></p></li><li><p><em>Time alone</em></p></li></ol><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!tWt0!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f225f8f-71a7-4af6-bd85-f7a6717f4baf_4284x5712.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!tWt0!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f225f8f-71a7-4af6-bd85-f7a6717f4baf_4284x5712.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!tWt0!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f225f8f-71a7-4af6-bd85-f7a6717f4baf_4284x5712.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!tWt0!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f225f8f-71a7-4af6-bd85-f7a6717f4baf_4284x5712.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!tWt0!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f225f8f-71a7-4af6-bd85-f7a6717f4baf_4284x5712.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!tWt0!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f225f8f-71a7-4af6-bd85-f7a6717f4baf_4284x5712.jpeg" width="700" height="933.1730769230769" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/6f225f8f-71a7-4af6-bd85-f7a6717f4baf_4284x5712.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:1941,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:700,&quot;bytes&quot;:5141522,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/i/199069947?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f225f8f-71a7-4af6-bd85-f7a6717f4baf_4284x5712.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!tWt0!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f225f8f-71a7-4af6-bd85-f7a6717f4baf_4284x5712.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!tWt0!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f225f8f-71a7-4af6-bd85-f7a6717f4baf_4284x5712.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!tWt0!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f225f8f-71a7-4af6-bd85-f7a6717f4baf_4284x5712.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!tWt0!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f225f8f-71a7-4af6-bd85-f7a6717f4baf_4284x5712.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p></p><h2><strong>1. Simple Pleasures</strong></h2><p><strong>What are your simple pleasures?</strong></p><p>I spent 12 hours on the train recently traveling.</p><p>I barely slept during the night, so I was horribly tired the entire day.</p><p>My eyes were swollen and dry.</p><p>Even reading was tough.</p><p>Nothing could keep me properly alive that day.</p><p>The only thing I wanted was a shower, and the feeling after, when the day is finally over.</p><p>I believe you know days like these too.</p><p>They are draining.</p><p>On days like these, it&#8217;s normal that your 100% looks completely different from someone else&#8217;s.</p><p>I think it&#8217;s important to find simple pleasures that help you wind down and relax.</p><p>My simple pleasure that day was the moment I turned on my PlayStation to watch a movie.</p><p>Instead of a movie, I quickly scanned the game store and found out that a game I&#8217;d wanted for a long time was on sale.</p><p>That simple thing made my day. It gave me the last piece of energy to finish a draining day on a high note.</p><p>Which brings me to my point.</p><p>We are often driven, and sometimes even overwhelmed, by achieving more, without acknowledging the simple pleasures that give us the energy to continue on our journey.</p><p>It takes active effort and attention to focus on these things daily, not just once in a while.</p><p>For me, this was a little reminder that I should look for these simple pleasures more often, to celebrate my progress every day.</p><p>You don&#8217;t hit a big milestone every day.</p><p>To be honest, big milestones are rare.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>If you celebrate only the big things, you miss the joy that can be created every day.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>It&#8217;s not about being satisfied with less. It&#8217;s the exact opposite.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><em><strong>It&#8217;s about being thankful to yourself for every day you managed to get through.</strong></em></p><p><em><strong>Nothing is promised to anyone. Not to you, not to me.</strong></em></p></div><p>Life can change fast, so why not celebrate each day as a victory and find those simple pleasures more often to make this journey more enjoyable for yourself and those around you?</p><p><em><strong>What are the simple pleasures that help you bring joy into daily life?</strong></em></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/what-your-100-percent-actually-looks-like/comments&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Leave a comment&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/what-your-100-percent-actually-looks-like/comments"><span>Leave a comment</span></a></p><h2><strong>2. The Missed Day</strong></h2><p><strong>How do you recover from failure?</strong></p><p>Yesterday was the first, and hopefully the last, day I missed my 100 words.</p><p>It struck me today, in the middle of everything, that with the speed of the last few days, the traveling, the running around, I was so occupied yesterday that I forgot to write.</p><p>For a moment, it felt like failure. </p><p>I had promised myself that no matter what, I&#8217;d never miss a day of writing.</p><p>The feeling was overwhelming. Even hard to process.</p><p>What helped me overcome that momentary paralysis was reminding myself that I&#8217;m still just human. If it happens only once, and never twice in a row, it&#8217;s still acceptable.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>It would be much worse to sacrifice the whole journey just because of one missed day.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>This too is a lesson for the future.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>It&#8217;s not about avoiding failure at all costs. It is about learning how to process these moments and still move forward.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Because you know what?</p><p>These moments are inevitable in life.</p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption"><em>If you found your way here for the first time, subscribe and stick around.</em></p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div><h2><strong>3. The Task</strong></h2><p><strong>How hard is it to focus when there&#8217;s noise everywhere?</strong></p><p>Imagine you want to write an essay but there&#8217;s a loud TV going on in front of you.</p><p>You&#8217;re trying to take notes but the professor keeps talking and switching slides.</p><p>You can&#8217;t expect to do focused work when you keep switching tasks and changing your Spotify playlist.</p><p>To finish what you started, you need to cut off all the distractions in your way.</p><p>It can be harder than you think.</p><p>Phone notifications are the biggest killer.</p><p><em><strong>The only way to be productive is to keep one thing in the room. The task.</strong></em></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>4. Framing the Situation</strong></h2><p><strong>How do you push a little further on the days you feel ready for bed?</strong></p><p>On days like these, discipline is who sits behind the steering wheel.</p><p>While I write this, my eyes are already closing.</p><p>All I want to do right now is fall into my bed.</p><p>But I still have 100 words to write.</p><p>My mind tried to turn this into something I &#8220;need&#8221; to do.</p><p>But that&#8217;s not true.</p><p>I want to do this, because I gave myself this challenge.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Don&#8217;t ever let your mind turn things upside down.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Framing makes all the difference.</p><p>When you tell yourself you need to, or that you have to do something, it creates this negative energy in your body. It creates the feeling of something you&#8217;re not looking forward to.</p><p>Instead, frame it as something you want to do.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>When you choose something you want, it creates positive energy that drives the action.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Be careful how you frame situations to yourself.</p><div class="captioned-button-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/what-your-100-percent-actually-looks-like?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;}" data-component-name="CaptionedButtonToDOM"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption"><em>If this resonated with you, share it with one person who needs it today.</em></p></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/what-your-100-percent-actually-looks-like?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/what-your-100-percent-actually-looks-like?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p></div><h2><strong>5. Time Alone</strong></h2><p><strong>Find the time to be alone.</strong></p><p>This is one of the most important things for me, one I keep coming back to and keep emphasizing to many.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Undisturbed time with yourself is priceless.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>I&#8217;d say it&#8217;s the key to understanding yourself better, and to becoming a better version of yourself.</p><p>By time with yourself, I don&#8217;t mean being on your phone or watching a movie.</p><p>I mean really dedicated time to check on your life, and on the direction you&#8217;re heading.</p><p><em><strong>It&#8217;s about finding peace with yourself and your mind, so you can make calmer decisions, aligned with who you want to be and where you want to go.</strong></em></p><div><hr></div><p><em>I aim to deliver the most personal stories, insights, and lessons from real-world experiences I have lived through over the past decade. As I continue building my life and trying to be a better version of myself, I am documenting this journey and the lessons from my life for people who might need to hear them.</em></p><p><em><strong>- Luk&#225;&#353;</strong></em></p><div class="directMessage button" data-attrs="{&quot;userId&quot;:65219253,&quot;userName&quot;:&quot;Luk&#225;&#353; &#268;abaj&quot;,&quot;canDm&quot;:null,&quot;dmUpgradeOptions&quot;:null,&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}" data-component-name="DirectMessageToDOM"></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[You Can Do Anything, But Not Everything]]></title><description><![CDATA[Overachieving, family, life abroad, money, and the values guiding you, when the list never ends. Day 62 - 68 / 1000]]></description><link>https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/you-can-do-anything-but-not-everything</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/you-can-do-anything-but-not-everything</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Lukáš Čabaj]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sun, 17 May 2026 15:30:05 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/672afc96-0873-49b0-a154-787428126b3e_1200x630.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>There&#8217;s always one more thing on the list. One more thing to fix, learn, finish, and become.</p><p>This week is about what happens when the list never ends. </p><p>About family, living abroad, money, and the quiet question underneath all of it.</p><div><hr></div><h2><em><strong>Here is what has been on my mind this week:</strong></em></h2><ol><li><p><em>Overachieving</em></p></li><li><p><em>Devil&#8217;s loop of perfection</em></p></li><li><p><em>Paying visit to a family</em></p></li><li><p><em>Living abroad</em></p></li><li><p><em>Money, money, money</em></p></li><li><p><em>Values</em></p></li></ol><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!haDA!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fabb4f4a1-50f5-49bf-933c-22d799e7cc5c_2316x3088.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" 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src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!haDA!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fabb4f4a1-50f5-49bf-933c-22d799e7cc5c_2316x3088.jpeg" width="701" height="934.5061813186813" 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srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!haDA!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fabb4f4a1-50f5-49bf-933c-22d799e7cc5c_2316x3088.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!haDA!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fabb4f4a1-50f5-49bf-933c-22d799e7cc5c_2316x3088.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!haDA!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fabb4f4a1-50f5-49bf-933c-22d799e7cc5c_2316x3088.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!haDA!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fabb4f4a1-50f5-49bf-933c-22d799e7cc5c_2316x3088.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><h2><strong>1. Overachieving</strong></h2><p><strong>What is the upside and downside of overachieving in life?</strong></p><p>The best analogy I have for the downside of overachieving is a to-do list with no end.</p><p>That&#8217;s how I feel more often than I&#8217;d like to admit. It doesn&#8217;t mean I&#8217;m always 100% productive every day.</p><p>It&#8217;s more like you always have something on your mind.</p><p>There is very little or no time to rest because there is always something else to do which is more &#8220;important&#8221;.</p><p>And even if I choose rest, there are these thoughts haunting me that I could have used that time to work on something.</p><p>Don&#8217;t burn yourself out like this.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Nothing is more important than your health, and rest is part of taking care of your health too.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>It is important to be able to recognize these patterns and find a way to control them.</p><p>Something that helps me is to go for a walk.</p><p>It helps especially when you are feeling overwhelmed by everything happening around you and the amount of work you have put on yourself.</p><p>The questioning will come:</p><p>Maybe I should be using this time differently.</p><p>Maybe I could have finished that task already.</p><p>Maybe I could go for a walk later.</p><p>Lean into your surroundings right now and let things go as much as you can.</p><p>You will return with clear thoughts, ready to finish whatever is left for that day.</p><p>What is the upside of overachieving then?</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>The answer is simple. Achieving more than you would imagine.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p><strong>How does it look for you?</strong></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>2. Devil&#8217;s loop of perfection</strong></h2><p><strong>How do you improve yourself without getting stuck perfecting it?</strong></p><p>I think it is an art to know when to improve yourself and in which area of your life to do so.</p><p>Self-improvement is a wonderful skill that helps you create the version of yourself you want to build.</p><p>There are countless ways to improve.</p><p>We can improve by reading books, by learning new skills, by challenging ourselves physically and mentally, or by facing our fears.</p><p>We all know and understand that if we want we can be better than we were yesterday. But it requires the willingness to do so.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>As with everything in life, even self-improvement has two sides.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>The positive side we all know.</p><p>It&#8217;s making us better in whatever we choose to improve ourselves.</p><p>The negative side of self-improvement is something less known.</p><p>Because there are infinite ways to improve, there is no end to this process either.</p><p>You can get stuck improving yourself all the time, which leads to feeling even less capable than before.</p><p>That&#8217;s the devil&#8217;s loop of self-improvement.</p><p>You keep perfecting things with endless improvements that lead you to the opposite.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>You can do anything but not everything.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>This counts especially for self-improvement.</p><p>Choosing in which area of your life you want to improve, and most importantly why, is the key to success before you even start with your self-improvement journey.</p><p>Without a clear reason and outcome, you can very easily end up in the loop.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Choose your path of improvement wisely.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p><strong>In which area of your life are you currently trying to improve?</strong></p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption"><em>If you found your way here for the first time, subscribe and stick around.</em></p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div><h2><strong>3. Paying visit to a family</strong></h2><p><strong>How to deal with parents and not go crazy?</strong></p><p>If you&#8217;ve ever moved out of your parent&#8217;s house and lived somewhere else long enough, you know how tough it can be to come back and deal with parents again.</p><p>I love my family and I&#8217;m forever thankful for all their support in my life. But boy, it&#8217;s hard sometimes.</p><p>You live your own life now at your own pace and by your own standards.</p><p>Once you come back home it&#8217;s like an instant flashback to childhood.</p><p>It feels a bit strange. It feels like there is this clash of realities.</p><p>One is your current reality and the way you live.</p><p>The other is the reality in which your parents live and all the memories, habits, and routines of the household.</p><p>Once these two mix, it can be really challenging.</p><p>Despite all of this, I believe keeping in touch with family and paying them a visit is very important.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Doesn&#8217;t matter how they might be sometimes. It&#8217;s still your family. They deserve it.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p><strong>So how do we manage these visits or holidays without going crazy?</strong></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>4. Living abroad</strong></h2><p><strong>Why is moving abroad a life-changing experience?</strong></p><p>Living abroad has been my goal since an early age.</p><p>The vision was heavily influenced by my dad, who was working in Austria back then.</p><p>Because he was doing it, it felt more natural to me as a path to follow.</p><p>I went to work abroad with my dad for the first time when I was 16, in 2014, during Christmas break.</p><p>Then the following summer again.</p><p>And then I never stopped exploring.</p><p>I worked and lived in different places with my entire life packed into one suitcase and a backpack.</p><p>During those years I spent most of my time in Switzerland and Copenhagen, with my early stops in Austria.</p><p>I spent the least amount of my adulthood in my own country. If the pandemic hadn&#8217;t happened, I probably wouldn&#8217;t spend any time there.</p><p>Today, I speak three languages: English, German, and my native Slovak.</p><p>Plus Czech, which just happened to be my fourth language because of the similarity with Slovak and the fact that I watched a lot of cartoons as a kid in Czech.</p><p>It&#8217;s been a journey, and it has been a life-changing experience because it opened doors I never imagined.</p><p>Especially because I come from a small town in the valley between mountains in Slovakia which has barely 20 000 residents. A place people rarely leave.</p><p>You can probably imagine the mentality of people living in such small towns.</p><p>Anything new or out of the ordinary feels like a threat to people.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>It takes a huge amount of self-determination and courage to go against the crowd and think differently. But if I could do it, you can too.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>I want to encourage you to take the risk and leave your home town.</p><p>Doesn&#8217;t need to be forever, but go and explore the world first.</p><p>It will open your mind and your thinking in a way that your home town never could.</p><p>And it doesn&#8217;t matter if you are from a big city or a village.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Living abroad is one of the best ways to test yourself in life.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>It will teach you how to take care of yourself in the toughest moments because they will definitely come.</p><p>But once you pass these challenges you will be so much stronger and confident in yourself because you managed to do something that your classmates didn&#8217;t even think of.</p><p>It&#8217;s the best school for life because it teaches you exactly the lessons you need in life.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>That is a value which no money or school can outweigh.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Have you ever lived abroad?</p><p><strong>I would love to hear about your experience and what it taught you in life.</strong></p><div class="captioned-button-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/you-can-do-anything-but-not-everything?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;}" data-component-name="CaptionedButtonToDOM"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption"><em>If this resonated with you, share it with one person who needs it today.</em></p></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/you-can-do-anything-but-not-everything?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/you-can-do-anything-but-not-everything?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p></div><h2><strong>5. Money, money, money</strong></h2><p><strong>What is your relationship with money?</strong></p><p>There are very few things in the world that have as much power as money does.</p><p>Money influences almost every single part of our lives.</p><p>It is one of the most significant relationships in our life because it determines how much power money is going to have over us.</p><p>But, this relationship is not purely on us to build. It comes from our parents first.</p><p>We are taught what our parents believe.</p><p>I see a lot of different groups of young people and their relationship with money.</p><p>Someone grew up with a clear understanding of what money is, what it can get you, and how to make money outside of regular work.</p><p>Someone sees money as something evil, something that does only wrong in the world.</p><p>Someone else was taught that money is made only by getting a stable job, and that rich people are just lucky and most of the time selfish and bad.</p><p>There are people who don&#8217;t believe in investing and don&#8217;t trust the banks, so they would rather save all their money under the bed.</p><p>And there are also people who grew up without any money and see in it the only thing that could turn their lives into a better place.</p><p>We all come from different backgrounds with different stories and different upbringings.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>For each one of us money means something different.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>For some time, I used to believe that money was the only solution to a better life.</p><p>Especially when I was younger.</p><p>I think once you start getting your first salary, what you want to do is experience the power of money.</p><p>You want to see for yourself how much you can enjoy this money you just earned, how many things you can buy, where you can go, and that can get pretty addictive, very fast.</p><p>This then brings you into a kind of rat race where the only thing you want is to earn more money so you can spend more money.</p><p>I was holding on to this belief for some time until I hit some financial struggles which were the best lesson.</p><p>Not only did those financial struggles teach me how to manage money better, but they also taught me that when you don&#8217;t have the money to spend on fun activities, you kind of need to find meaning and enjoyment in different things.</p><p>And since then... I started looking at money very differently.</p><p>I think it&#8217;s also an ongoing process where you learn more and more as you get older.</p><p>You get access to different kinds of money based on your job and your salary.</p><p>You start investing, you save up more, and you start diversifying your assets.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>One of the best skills I learned about money is how to enjoy life fully without needing to expand your lifestyle and monthly spending.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p><strong>What is your relationship with money?</strong></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>6. Values</strong></h2><p><strong>What core values guide your life decisions?</strong></p><p>This is one of the questions we should be asking ourselves often, and not only on rare occasions.</p><p>But before I dive into that, I have another question for you.</p><p>How do we build our values in the first place? And how exactly do we define these values?</p><p>These are questions I&#8217;m asking myself right now.</p><p>Because so much of your life is influenced and built on top of your values, it is important to know what your values actually are.</p><p>And it doesn&#8217;t mean that you need to have a lot of them.</p><p>Values come from different places.</p><p>You have values which are purely yours and you have values which were instilled in you by your family, culture, or religion.</p><p>Your values change over a lifetime.</p><p>The values you had in your early 20s are very different from the ones you&#8217;re gonna have before your 40s.</p><p>That&#8217;s why it&#8217;s so important to find time to reflect on your values which are guiding your life.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>What is irritating you, what are you envious of, what is the thing you wouldn&#8217;t trade for any kind of pleasure and always protect?</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>These kinds of things can reveal what is underneath.</p><p>What are the values which are guiding your decisions?</p><p>They&#8217;re not goals, they&#8217;re not about achieving.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Values are the compass guiding you on your journey.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p><strong>What is your strongest value in life?</strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/you-can-do-anything-but-not-everything/comments&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Leave a comment&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/you-can-do-anything-but-not-everything/comments"><span>Leave a comment</span></a></p><div><hr></div><p><em>I aim to deliver the most personal stories, insights, and lessons from real-world experiences I have lived through over the past decade. As I continue building my life and trying to be a better version of myself, I am documenting this journey and the lessons from my life for people who might need to hear them.</em></p><p><em><strong>- Luk&#225;&#353;</strong></em></p><div class="directMessage button" data-attrs="{&quot;userId&quot;:65219253,&quot;userName&quot;:&quot;Luk&#225;&#353; &#268;abaj&quot;,&quot;canDm&quot;:null,&quot;dmUpgradeOptions&quot;:null,&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}" data-component-name="DirectMessageToDOM"></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Your Future Self Deserves It]]></title><description><![CDATA[Day 55 - 61 / 1000]]></description><link>https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/your-future-self-deserves-it</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/your-future-self-deserves-it</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Lukáš Čabaj]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sun, 10 May 2026 15:31:21 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/ed92af91-bce2-48ee-a05e-41d6639b3fc1_1200x630.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Most of us are running someone else&#8217;s race.</p><p>We chase money we wouldn&#8217;t actually earn. </p><p>We polish work no one will notice. </p><p>We forget what brought us joy in the first place.</p><p>This week is about coming back to yourself. And building the life your future self will actually thank you for.</p><div><hr></div><h2><em><strong>Here is what has been on my mind this week:</strong></em></h2><ol><li><p>Joy</p></li><li><p>Perfectionism</p></li><li><p>The one on money</p></li><li><p>The work begins within</p></li><li><p>There are days</p></li><li><p>Reminders for life</p></li><li><p>Your future self deserves it</p></li></ol><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pzIh!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F61376770-6a30-4aa3-9e0e-4c015027902b_6240x4160.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" 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class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><h2><strong>1. Joy</strong></h2><p><strong>When was the last time you did something purely because it brought you joy?</strong></p><p>Do what brings you joy.</p><p>Our minds and souls are trying to navigate us every day toward the right decisions.</p><p>But because we became numbed by constant dopamine and attention-stealing surroundings, we almost can&#8217;t hear our daily intuition anymore.</p><p>We often become trapped in cycles of daily life, without much thinking and without joy.</p><p>Wake up, go to work, come back, go to sleep, repeat.</p><p>Most of us live like that. It&#8217;s nothing unusual.</p><p>But let me ask you this: when was the last time you did something purely because it brought you joy?</p><p>No transaction or exchange for something else. Just pure joy that filled your heart and soul.</p><p>Do you even remember what makes you joyous?</p><p>In a career- and success-driven world, we often put our inner child behind us.</p><p>We forget how it feels to play.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>I believe that one of the most impactful things in your life is joy and play.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>We connect to others, but also to ourselves, through these moments.</p><p>These moments make us feel complete.</p><p>I guarantee you that if you start looking for these moments, you will rediscover a part of yourself that you didn&#8217;t know still exists.</p><p>Isn&#8217;t it what we all want in life? To be more joyous?</p><p>I believe it is.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Go and have fun again.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Life is short, and none of us knows when it ends.</p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>2. Perfectionism</strong></h2><p><strong>Are you aiming for perfection or for getting things done?</strong></p><p>If there were one thing I have struggled with the most so far, it would be perfectionism.</p><p>I believed for a very long time that this part of me, which is always trying to bring things to the best possible outcome, was my advantage.</p><p>I just had a different touch for things. I would always find small details that could be different to make the final output better.</p><p>But was it really better? Was it really necessary to spend all that extra time perfecting something that only I would notice?</p><p>Maybe, sometimes.</p><p>But when you have an important task to finish, one that other steps in the process depend on, it can be quite unproductive to try to endlessly perfect things.</p><p>I would get stuck in the process so many times. Endlessly iterating over one document.</p><p>What happened when AI came into our daily lives?</p><p>My perfectionism kicked in even more. </p><p>Now I didn&#8217;t need to rely only on my thoughts because I had this machine that could iterate on my best work even more.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>It&#8217;s a devil&#8217;s loop.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>It keeps you stuck on things that need half the time you give them.</p><p>So how do you deal with perfectionism?</p><p>How do you stop being a slave to the process and deliver actual outputs?</p><p>One way is to set the bar of expectations lower.</p><p>Not every piece of work you produce needs to be perfect.</p><p>Unless you are a doctor or someone responsible for other people&#8217;s lives, or your own life depends on it.</p><p>In that case, please be as close to perfect as possible every time.</p><p>In other cases, understand the priority of the project or task you are working on.</p><p>If something just needs to go out, then don&#8217;t sweat too much on it.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>It is about understanding the priority that helps you navigate perfectionism.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>It&#8217;s easier said than done.</p><p>It requires conscious thinking and training of your mind to detect these moments, and to actively adjust your course and attention, so you are not spending hours on something that needs 20 minutes of your time.</p><p>As much as I&#8217;m trying to get better at this myself, it&#8217;s still hard sometimes.</p><p>Especially to differentiate between what needs that extra touch and what not, and when.</p><p><em><strong>Are you getting things done?</strong></em></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>3. The one on money</strong></h2><p><strong>Stress tied to money, and how to live more at ease.</strong></p><p>One of the biggest themes for almost anyone is money.</p><p>We all start thinking about money very early in our lives because we see everything money can get you.</p><p>As kids, we see that money can buy you basically everything you want, from ice cream, toys, and video games to vacations, cars, and much more.</p><p>We grow into teenagers and adults with big hopes and expectations of what money is going to allow us to do, and we can&#8217;t wait.</p><p>How you manage your first income depends heavily on your parents&#8217; relationship with money, and on how they taught you to handle it.</p><p>Some people feel an internal rush when the first paycheck arrives and are urged to go buy everything this money will allow.</p><p>On the other hand, some spend a part but also save, to make sure they have something for later.</p><p>Basics. We all know how this works.</p><p>Why then do we have so much stress tied to money?</p><p>Is it because of the lack of power?</p><p>Is it because we just simply want to buy more than we can earn?</p><p>Is it because we are in debt?</p><p>Is it because we are in need of it?</p><p>The answers might include everything and much more.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Every one of us is in a different situation.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>I might be under financial stress because I can&#8217;t fill my emergency account and just keep taking from it for other things that are appearing unexpectedly.</p><p>It always feels like a one step forward, two steps back situation, with no end in sight.</p><p>You might be limited in how much you can work, so your income is lower than it could be, and that causes you a lot of stress.</p><p>You might be feeling trapped because of it.</p><p>The scenarios are endless. Because everyone handles money differently, with different expectations and different habits.</p><p>Today&#8217;s social media is also not helping us want less in life.</p><p>We are constantly presented with shiny objects, luxury holidays, sports cars, beauty, villas, and endless other things.</p><p>How do we live more at ease with all of this happening in our lives?</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>I think it comes down to our own expectations. Which are often unrealistic.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>You want to be a billionaire driving a Bugatti, living on top of a skyscraper, and drinking champagne for breakfast. But you are a lazy person who likes to sleep in, and working hard really never interests you.</p><p>How the f*ck do you want to be a billionaire then?</p><p>Or maybe you want to be a successful hedge fund manager, spending your summers in Italy and winters in the snowy wonderland of Switzerland.</p><p>But numbers and money confuse you, and you can&#8217;t really think strategically.</p><p>Why do you even want to be a hedge fund manager then?</p><p>The problem with our expectations is that we see all these people and we look only at their results.</p><p>We just picture ourselves driving these cars, living this lifestyle, and we think to ourselves how amazing it would be to do the same.</p><p>It might be an amazing life.</p><p>But are you willing to invest the time, the energy, and go through everything they had to go through to get there?</p><p>Most of the time not.</p><p>When you hear that the person works 100+ hours a week, suddenly the money doesn&#8217;t sound so good, because it&#8217;s too much of a sacrifice.</p><p>The solution to this problem is to look inside of you and listen to what you, your soul, and your inner instinct are telling you.</p><p>Just because there are billionaires driving Bugattis doesn&#8217;t mean you have to be one too.</p><p>Maybe what you really want is the respect they get when they walk into a room.</p><p>And that you can get another way too, by doing something meaningful, something aligned with you.</p><p>This is not a simple question to answer or a simple decision to make.</p><p>It requires constantly checking with yourself if the steps you are taking are bringing you closer to the life you want.</p><p>And maybe it is the life of a hedge fund manager.</p><p>But you need to be honest with yourself about whether that is what you really want, and whether you are willing to go on that journey and sacrifice what is needed.</p><p>If yes, great. There is your path to walk.</p><p>If not, then you just want the lifestyle but not that career.</p><p>So go and find something else that is going to be worth the sacrifice and will get you the lifestyle you want.</p><p>The key message here is:</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Don&#8217;t try to compete with the world and portray yourself in others' lives without considering how much sacrifice it took to get there.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Choose a life that you are willing to work hard for.</p><p><em><strong>The amount of money in the bank account doesn&#8217;t play any role if you are living a life of misery and stress.</strong></em></p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption"><em>If you found your way here for the first time, subscribe and stick around.</em></p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div><h2><strong>4. The work begins within</strong></h2><p><strong>What is love?</strong></p><p>How do you describe love?</p><p>How do you feel when you fall in love?</p><p>What makes you feel loved?</p><p>How do you express love?</p><p>What role does love play in your life?</p><p>Have you ever lost your mind thanks to love?</p><p>Is love happy or sad?</p><p>Where does love come from?</p><p>Why is there love?</p><p>How do you create love?</p><p>Is love painful?</p><p>How much love can you give?</p><p>How much love can you receive?</p><p>Have you ever lost hope for love?</p><p>When did you feel loved the most?</p><p>When did you miss being loved?</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>The most important love is the love for ourselves.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Without our own self-love, we can&#8217;t love others truly.</p><p>Spend time learning how to love yourself.</p><p>And not only today.</p><p>Love yourself every day.</p><p><em><strong>Because the work begins within.</strong></em></p><div class="captioned-button-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/your-future-self-deserves-it?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;}" data-component-name="CaptionedButtonToDOM"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption"><em>If this resonated with you, share it with one person who needs it today.</em></p></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/your-future-self-deserves-it?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/your-future-self-deserves-it?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p></div><h2><strong>5. There are days</strong></h2><p>There are days when things go as we planned, and days when everything is the opposite of what we wanted.</p><p>It&#8217;s normal.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>What you do during those other days is what makes the difference.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Are you leaning in? Or fighting against it?</p><p>There is no correct answer on what you should do.</p><p>But when you planned something important to do, you should find the time, even during those hard days, and finish what you started.</p><p>You will be thankful and proud of yourself at the end that you didn&#8217;t give up.</p><p>Sometimes you need to go outside of your routine to finish what you started on that day.</p><p>That means going to sleep later, waking up later, or doing something else that affects your daily routine.</p><p>Why?</p><p><em><strong>Because sometimes you just need to do it.</strong></em></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>6. Reminders for life</strong></h2><p>Things get hard in life, and sometimes more often than we would like.</p><p>Some of us are by nature more resilient to the outside world.</p><p>Some, on the other hand, are much less.</p><p><strong>What I have found useful is this set of reminders that can help you navigate daily life:</strong></p><ol><li><p><em>Don&#8217;t share negativity or hatred.</em></p></li><li><p><em>Be a positive-thinking person.</em></p></li><li><p><em>Radiate good energy around you.</em></p></li><li><p><em>Try to help people every day.</em></p></li><li><p><em>Work very hard to create the life you want for yourself and your family.</em></p></li><li><p><em>Money doesn&#8217;t define happiness for you.</em></p></li><li><p><em>Your friends and family are the most valuable things you have in life.</em></p></li><li><p><em>Work on yourself to create a better and healthier lifestyle.</em></p></li><li><p><em>You have done so many hard things already. You can do this.</em></p></li><li><p><em>You are not your body, you are not your mind. You are stronger than you think.</em></p></li><li><p><em>Never give up. You always find a way to solve the problems.</em></p></li></ol><p>There is not much else to say.</p><p>Hope it gave you something.</p><p><em><strong>Which one of these hits you the hardest right now? I&#8217;d love to know.</strong></em></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/your-future-self-deserves-it/comments&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Leave a comment&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/your-future-self-deserves-it/comments"><span>Leave a comment</span></a></p><h2><strong>7. Your future self deserves it</strong></h2><p>Self-integrity in today&#8217;s world is rare and underappreciated.</p><p>Why?</p><p>For a simple reason. People are turning bitter and negative more and more often, because of politics, money, household problems, addictions, and so on.</p><p>You are always presented with two options.</p><p>You can choose the easy path and be demoralized, or the harder path and live with peace of mind.</p><p>What do I mean by these two options and those two paths?</p><p>When we were kids, our parents told us not to steal anything, right?</p><p>You can always go behind the system&#8217;s guardrails to make your life easier this way.</p><p>Stealing, cheating, and manipulating are all behaviours that will get you things faster, but with other kinds of price tags.</p><p>That&#8217;s the easy path.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>You pay with your integrity, with trust from other people, and with your peace of mind.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>You might feel short-term adrenaline and dopamine rushing through your system because of this quick gain.</p><p>But the aftertaste is bitter and lasts for a long time, especially in the dark corners of your mind.</p><p>Why might we be tempted by this path?</p><p>Well, it&#8217;s increasingly hard for young people today to stay out of debt, buy a house and a car, or even start a family.</p><p>People are desperately looking for a quick way to get rich.</p><p>Because most of the time the money is needed. And social media is feeding us overnight success like it&#8217;s a product on sale.</p><p>In moments of hopelessness, people lose patience to wait until things get better in life for them.</p><p>They stop believing in the dreams they had about their career or business because they can&#8217;t wait another 5 or 10 years for things to get better.</p><p>The world is cruel and unfair to many of us on this planet.</p><p>All I want to say to you is this: don&#8217;t go down that path.</p><p>One single thought about going to jail for stealing should be enough to keep you away from these behaviours.</p><p>Even if it seems that self-integrity is overlooked or underappreciated in our society, don&#8217;t get pulled down with it.</p><p>You can achieve great things if you persist and work on yourself.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Build the version of yourself that you will be proud of in the future.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>A version of yourself which faced all the challenges life brought and still made it.</p><p>A version of yourself that, despite all the doubts and uncertainty, still made it.</p><p>A version of yourself that will be a great example to your kids and spouse.</p><p><em><strong>Be better for yourself, because your future self deserves it.</strong></em></p><div><hr></div><p><em>I aim to deliver the most personal stories, insights, and lessons from real-world experiences I have lived through over the past decade. As I continue building my life and trying to be a better version of myself, I am documenting this journey and the lessons from my life for people who might need to hear them.</em></p><p><em><strong>- Luk&#225;&#353;</strong></em></p><div class="directMessage button" data-attrs="{&quot;userId&quot;:65219253,&quot;userName&quot;:&quot;Luk&#225;&#353; &#268;abaj&quot;,&quot;canDm&quot;:null,&quot;dmUpgradeOptions&quot;:null,&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}" data-component-name="DirectMessageToDOM"></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Slingshot Effect]]></title><description><![CDATA[On freedom, friendship, sleep, and why the hardest moments might be what launches you furthest. Days 48-54 of 1000.]]></description><link>https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/the-slingshot-effect</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/the-slingshot-effect</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Lukáš Čabaj]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sun, 03 May 2026 15:30:59 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/59c385b3-f6ae-4a26-b0e9-bcbfb8545239_1200x630.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Some weeks you push hard and fall back. </p><p>Some friendships quietly fade. </p><p>Sleep gets ignored. </p><p>Rest starts to feel like laziness.</p><p>This week is about all of it. And why pulling back might be exactly the point.</p><div><hr></div><h2><em><strong>Here is what has been on my mind this week:</strong></em></h2><ol><li><p>Excess or enough</p></li><li><p>A reason, a season, or a lifetime</p></li><li><p>More coffee, or more sleep?</p></li><li><p>There is always something more to do</p></li><li><p>Slingshot</p></li><li><p>Cheer for yourself</p></li><li><p>Be better for yourself</p></li></ol><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gvDr!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9e937e61-9dfc-4ad5-8503-5d1531bba2d6_6240x4160.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" 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class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><h2><strong>1. Excess or enough</strong></h2><p><strong>What does freedom look like for you?</strong></p><p>We all have different dreams and goals in life.</p><p>From business, to family, to cars, to adventures, all the way over to peace of mind.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>But there is one common dream that we all want. Freedom.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Since we were kids and had to do chores at home instead of playing outside with friends, we were dreaming about it.</p><p>The space and time where the only rules that apply are our own, where we decide what comes next, where there is no limit to our potential.</p><p>People have always wanted to feel free to do whatever they want, whenever they want, with whoever they want and wherever they want.</p><p>It is in our nature.</p><p>How does one achieve such freedom?</p><p>Do you build it, or do you achieve it, or maybe you earn it?</p><p>These are some of the questions I&#8217;ve been asking myself.</p><p>Because as for many of you, this kind of freedom is also a dream of mine.</p><p>Especially the way they connect together.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Financial freedom opens doors for other things to come into your life.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>It doesn&#8217;t mean you need to be a billionaire. You just need enough money to make all those other decisions completely free.</p><p>And look, this might be just my point of view.</p><p>There is a very thin line here between chasing money and building something with purpose.</p><p>I think people are often split into two camps.</p><p>The first sees money, and rich people of course, as something evil.</p><p>Something that is causing only problems in life.</p><p>It is also usually those people who are in financial need and, to defend themselves, they turn against money.</p><p>Then there is the second camp.</p><p>The opposite end of the spectrum. People who have put money on a pedestal as the only thing that matters in life.</p><p>These are the chasers who believe more money equals more happiness. The universal equation in life.</p><p>But there is a middle ground which people tend to overlook.</p><p>I think I understand why.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>It&#8217;s not attractive to have just enough money.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Today&#8217;s society is obsessed with excess in everything.</p><p>That&#8217;s why so many people are fighting obesity. They consume food in excess because there is no shortage of it.</p><p>People think about money the same way.</p><p>There is either starvation or excess. Not just enough.</p><p>How does this connect to the freedom I was talking about?</p><p>It&#8217;s how I define freedom for myself.</p><p>It&#8217;s not about having excess money that would buy me a house in San Francisco, a yacht, and a private jet.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>It&#8217;s about having enough money to afford the lifestyle I want to live.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>I want to spend my life doing things I want to do, including work.</p><p>I don&#8217;t dream about a life where I don&#8217;t do anything and just lie around sipping mojitos.</p><p>So many people dream about a life where they never need to work. It&#8217;s because they hate the work they&#8217;re doing right now.</p><p>I can&#8217;t imagine a purposeless life like that.</p><p>We all need purpose and meaning in life.</p><p><strong>What does freedom look like for you?</strong></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>2. A reason, a season, or a lifetime</strong></h2><p>Something that money will never buy is true friendships.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>You can&#8217;t force people to be your friends, and even if you could, those people wouldn&#8217;t be true friends.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>From the beginning of our lives we connect with everything around us. We start forming relationships with family, but also with our first friends.</p><p>The first stages of our upbringing are usually full of friends from kindergarten, the neighborhood, or school. We feel constantly surrounded by people of the same age and most of the time with the same kind of interest. And that&#8217;s play.</p><p>We don&#8217;t even think about it because we play.</p><p>Things start to get different when we enter our teenage years.</p><p>We&#8217;ve gathered a lot from the world around us, our parents, ideas from movies. </p><p>We start experimenting with our own behaviour to see what happens when we treat others differently.</p><p>First tries of manipulation, negotiation, and persuasion teach us that things in life can be achieved in very different ways.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Relationships start to be transactional.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>From this point onwards we know when our friendships are genuine versus when they exist because of some kind of barter. And we all value the genuine ones more.</p><p>As we enter adult life, start a job, move cities or countries, we realize how important it is to have friends.</p><p>True friends are there when we need them.</p><p>We went from tons of friends in childhood to a few in adulthood.</p><p>First, I wasn&#8217;t sure if that&#8217;s good or not. I was confused, as many of you probably are too.</p><p>I realised that even on Facebook you receive less and less birthday wishes than the year before, and the year before that.</p><p>Maybe you&#8217;ve even asked yourself: &#8220;Have I done something wrong?&#8221;</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>The answer is no. You haven&#8217;t done anything wrong, unless you actually did hurt someone.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>But in most cases, it&#8217;s just natural selection.</p><p>We grow and mature, and other people do too. Our priorities and values change. </p><p>We stop being friends with some people because we&#8217;re heading in very different directions, or are in very different life stages, and suddenly there&#8217;s not much of a connection anymore.</p><p>There is this line from a poem that I particularly like:</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>&#8220;People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.&#8221;</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>It is a beautiful explanation of how to look at certain relationships when they end.</p><p>People who come into our lives for a reason are usually there to teach us something.</p><p>People who come for a season are there to be with us through a period of time. To make it through together, enjoy it fully, or learn something as well.</p><p>The last group, people who come into our lives for a lifetime, are the true gems.</p><p>They are there for all reasons and all seasons. For all the good times and bad times.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>There is nothing more beautiful than a friend calling you out of nowhere, without any reason, just to ask how you&#8217;re doing.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>The hard truth about friendships, which many of us forget sometimes, is that they need to be fostered and cared for.</p><p>Just because we are friends today doesn&#8217;t mean it will last forever, especially if neither of us puts any effort into this relationship.</p><p>I hope that serves as a reminder to call your friend today.</p><p><strong>So go and do it, now.</strong></p><div class="captioned-button-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/the-slingshot-effect?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;}" data-component-name="CaptionedButtonToDOM"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption"><em>If this resonated with you, share it with one person who needs it today.</em></p></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/the-slingshot-effect?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/the-slingshot-effect?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p></div><h2><strong>3. More coffee, or more sleep?</strong></h2><p>This is one of those themes we talk about so often, from so many different angles, that a person would think everyone already knows everything about it.</p><p>Yet people are still ignoring the importance of it.</p><p>In the busy world, everything gets more priority than sleep.</p><p>Sleep is something that needs to happen, unfortunately.</p><p>Or there are people on the other side who are overdoing it. Sleeping 12-14 hours for no reason besides that they like to sleep.</p><p>When do they do stuff then?</p><p>How is your relationship with sleep?</p><p>Are you an early bird or a night owl?</p><p>Do you track your sleep or do you go with the feeling?</p><p>There is no correct answer because we are all different.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>But the only correct way is to take sleep seriously.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>I can feel sleep deprivation massively.</p><p>Not just as an energy dip, but in my mental resilience and performance.</p><p>If I have poor sleep for two or three nights, my mind turns into a negative thought-feeding machine that will not stop talking shit to me.</p><p>What a daymare.</p><p>I&#8217;m not even surprised that people so often get bitter and annoyed in the trams, or at waiters, or at the person at the bank.</p><p>If they ignore their sleep and try to fight it every day with just more coffee, it&#8217;s a downward spiral into daily hell.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>And guess what. It&#8217;s not an excuse. At all.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Nothing excuses you being a dick to others.</p><p>It&#8217;s your fckn problem and responsibility to behave like a person should and not blame everything else for it.</p><p>Now imagine people doing this every single day.</p><p>Driving themselves into exhaustion because what is more important than work, right?</p><p>They do this for a couple of years, and then what.</p><p>Then the health problems start to creep up on them.</p><p>Until they hit a hard stop because they can&#8217;t anymore.</p><p>If they&#8217;re lucky, the hard stop leads to much less work and much more focus on health.</p><p>In the worst cases the hard stop is the last stop. They are not coming back.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>All just because they couldn&#8217;t realize that sleep is not to be ignored, but rather nurtured and protected.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>After COVID, a lot of people turned to healthier lifestyles. Probably the best lifestyle shift in society in a very long time.</p><p>Yet there are still individuals who believe that ignoring health is okay.</p><p>Don&#8217;t be one of them.</p><p>Take these things seriously and do your best to stay healthy and strong for decades to come.</p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption"><em>If you found your way here for the first time, subscribe and stick around.</em></p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div><h2><strong>4. There is always something more to do</strong></h2><p><strong>Are you resting or being lazy?</strong></p><p>This is a question I ask myself very often.</p><p>Most of the time it feels like I could do more.</p><p>My to-do list is a never-ending quest because there is always something more I can add to it.</p><p>But am I actually doing something more?</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>The hardest judge of you is always you.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Even when I&#8217;m sick and tired, I have an internal dialogue about whether I can play PlayStation for a bit, or watch a movie, or whether I should do laundry, clean my email inbox, work on stuff for my brand, and so on.</p><p>It is a real skill to know when to rest because you genuinely need it. And when rest is actually going to help your work in the end.</p><p>It is equally important to know when you are just slacking and being lazy, because that is not helping you get anywhere in the long run.</p><p>So how do you tell the difference?</p><p style="text-align: center;"><em><strong>What does rest look like for you right now? I&#8217;d love to know.</strong></em></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/the-slingshot-effect/comments&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Leave a comment&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/the-slingshot-effect/comments"><span>Leave a comment</span></a></p><h2><strong>5. Slingshot</strong></h2><p><strong>Have you ever felt that despite the effort you put in, you are not really moving forward?</strong></p><p>It&#8217;s like one step forward and two steps back.</p><p>This describes how we all feel sometimes.</p><p>We are doing what we can to make progress and then something happens. Two steps back.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>It feels like a rat race where you are only running but not moving forward.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>What should we do when feelings like this show up? When everything feels heavier and the progress feels stagnant?</p><p>Slow down a bit.</p><p>Rushing and pushing even more is not going to get you anywhere.</p><p>Trust me. I&#8217;ve been there.</p><p>I was pushing on the gas pedal more and more trying to make things work. </p><p>But what I didn&#8217;t realise back then was that I was pushing so hard that my engine started to burn.</p><p>Why? Because I was trying to push a car that had no gas and was heading in the wrong direction.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Moments like these are extremely hard. But they are never for nothing.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>This was an experience. A lesson you had a chance to learn.</p><p>Despite the fact that it might have been painful, or discouraging, that pain becomes your advantage in the future.</p><p>When you start a new project, you can always look back on these moments and take all the lessons with you.</p><p>Now you possess something you were missing the first time. And now you can do so much better.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Not all fallbacks are bad.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Think about it like a slingshot.</p><p>You need to pull it back first, and pull it hard, to be able to catapult the rock really far.</p><p>Let the experience be the slingshot and you the rock flying far right now because of all the previous lessons, and all the fallbacks.</p><p><strong>Are you pushing on the pedal too much as well?</strong></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>6. Cheer for yourself</strong></h2><p><strong>Have you ever thought of yourself as the main character in a movie?</strong></p><p>We all have goals and dreams for ourselves.</p><p>We wake up thinking about them.</p><p>We go through the day visualising ourselves there.</p><p>Then comes evening and we look back on our day asking ourselves how we contributed to that dream today.</p><p>Often we find we didn&#8217;t contribute as much as we thought. And that sends us down the spiral of thoughts and questions.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Suddenly we are standing in the shower staring at nothing, doubting ourselves, questioning the direction we chose, thinking we don&#8217;t like where we are right now.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>It&#8217;s not easy.</p><p>But no one ever promised it was going to be easy to build the life you want for yourself.</p><p>Social media is pouring overnight success stories on us from every direction.</p><p>All we feel is that we are behind on something in our lives. </p><p>We don&#8217;t know why or what it is. We just feel we&#8217;re supposed to have more of something that everyone else keeps showing us on the internet.</p><p>In those moments, remember that this is not a sprint. It&#8217;s a marathon.</p><p>I really like the analogy of imagining yourself as the main character, the hero in the movie.</p><p>What would you want the hero to do when things get hard? When he gets beaten down, betrayed, when he loses everything?</p><p>You would understand him. </p><p>You would cheer for him. </p><p>You would wait with excitement for the great comeback. The fireworks, the explosions, the trophy, the reunion. Whatever you want your hero to achieve.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Do the same for yourself when things get hard. Cheer for yourself.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Remember that even when life is challenging, you are not alone.</p><p>Reach out to your family, friends, or even to me if you need support on your journey.</p><p>We are all in this together.</p><p>The path towards success happens one step at a time.</p><p><strong>Take the first step today and let me know how it&#8217;s going.</strong></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>7. Be better for yourself</strong></h2><p><strong>How can you do more without burning out?</strong></p><p>I&#8217;ve been asking myself this question for the past couple of months.</p><p>It feels like being constantly at the crossroads between wanting to achieve more and not wanting to burn myself to the point where I can&#8217;t do anything anymore.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>I don&#8217;t have an answer to this question yet. I&#8217;m still trying to figure it out on my own too.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>But here is my hypothesis on how I think it can be achieved.</p><p>It always starts with WHY.</p><p>If you don&#8217;t know why you are doing what you are doing, or why you want to achieve what you want to achieve, it&#8217;s extremely hard to move even one step forward at a time.</p><p>Once we have our why, we can focus on our WHAT.</p><p>What is the outcome we want to achieve? What is the destination where we want to arrive?</p><p>This makes it more real, something our mind can more easily grasp.</p><p>The next step is the PLAN.</p><p>We tend to create our plans chronologically from today&#8217;s standpoint. But in this case, we want to reverse engineer it.</p><p>Here is where your imagination comes into play, connecting your WHY and your WHAT into something that exists in 10 years&#8217; time.</p><p>From there we break it down to 5 years, 3 years, 1 year, 6 months, 3 months, 4 weeks, this week, and today.</p><p>Now we are facing the last question.</p><p>What can I do today to get myself closer to where I want to be in 10 years&#8217; time?</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Think small. Think 1% better every day.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Put the bar of expectations lower than you originally wanted. Why? Because you are starting from zero.</p><p>Don&#8217;t compare yourself to others on the internet, in your work, or in your town.</p><p>Your journey is unique to you because only you know your WHY, your WHAT, and your PLAN.</p><p>Don&#8217;t try to compete with the world or impress anyone.</p><p>Compete only with yesterday&#8217;s version of yourself.</p><p><strong>Be better for yourself.</strong></p><div class="directMessage button" data-attrs="{&quot;userId&quot;:65219253,&quot;userName&quot;:&quot;Luk&#225;&#353; &#268;abaj&quot;,&quot;canDm&quot;:null,&quot;dmUpgradeOptions&quot;:null,&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}" data-component-name="DirectMessageToDOM"></div><div><hr></div><p><em>I aim to deliver the most personal stories, insights, and lessons from real-world experiences I have lived through over the past decade. As I continue building my life and trying to be a better version of myself, I am documenting this journey and the lessons from my life for people who might need to hear them.</em></p><p><em><strong>&#8212; Luk&#225;&#353;</strong></em></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[What Are You Built For?]]></title><description><![CDATA[Day 41 - 47 / 1000]]></description><link>https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/what-are-you-built-for</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/what-are-you-built-for</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Lukáš Čabaj]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Fri, 24 Apr 2026 10:56:46 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!qpZD!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7aead7c1-a87a-4158-a33c-33b962739c91.heic" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Most people don't break because life is too hard. </p><p>They break because they never learned what they can actually handle. </p><p>This week, I wrote about pain, fun, health, and the uncomfortable truth that comfort might be the thing holding you back the most.</p><h2><em><strong>Here is what has been on my mind this week:</strong></em></h2><ol><li><p><em>Endure</em></p></li><li><p><em>Wisdom tooth</em></p></li><li><p><em>Health is everything</em></p></li><li><p><em>Having fun</em></p></li><li><p><em>Give yourself a break</em></p></li><li><p><em>Opening up</em></p></li><li><p><em>Dive deeper</em></p></li></ol><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!qpZD!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7aead7c1-a87a-4158-a33c-33b962739c91.heic" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!qpZD!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7aead7c1-a87a-4158-a33c-33b962739c91.heic 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!qpZD!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7aead7c1-a87a-4158-a33c-33b962739c91.heic 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!qpZD!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7aead7c1-a87a-4158-a33c-33b962739c91.heic 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!qpZD!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7aead7c1-a87a-4158-a33c-33b962739c91.heic 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!qpZD!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7aead7c1-a87a-4158-a33c-33b962739c91.heic" width="695" height="926.507554945055" 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srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!qpZD!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7aead7c1-a87a-4158-a33c-33b962739c91.heic 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!qpZD!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7aead7c1-a87a-4158-a33c-33b962739c91.heic 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!qpZD!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7aead7c1-a87a-4158-a33c-33b962739c91.heic 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!qpZD!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7aead7c1-a87a-4158-a33c-33b962739c91.heic 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><h2><strong>1. Endure</strong></h2><p><strong>How much can you endure?</strong></p><p>Life is constantly testing us one way or another.</p><p>And what do we do?</p><p>We run away from our problems, trying to reach a destination where there are no problems in our lives.</p><p>We are missing a key thing.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>The problems in life are not bugs; they are features.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>There will never be a place or time in your life when everything will be perfect.</p><p>Perfection is an illusion that we believed for far too long.</p><p>The only certainty is that at one point, things in your life will be shit, you will mess up, make mistakes, and it&#8217;s going to hurt and be humiliating.</p><p>But that&#8217;s not why I write this.</p><p>I&#8217;m not writing this to be negative, or pessimistic, or trying to bring you down.</p><p>This is about how much you can endure.</p><p>I used to believe for way too long that the life I live and, in general, the world we live in is pretty, prosperous, and kind.</p><p>The opposite is true. And always was, to be honest.</p><p>You can read some books on evolution, politics, and history. You will clearly see that we were always cruel, we always wished for power and control, one way or another.</p><p>But that&#8217;s not the main theme either. I&#8217;m not a specialist on these topics.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>What I&#8217;m trying to bring across the table for you is that you shouldn't get too comfortable.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>We are facing a comfort crisis.</p><p>People are lazy and default to comfort and binge-watching social media instead of pushing themselves into daily uncomfortable situations and places.</p><p>How much can you really endure?</p><p>In a physical and psychological manner.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>There was no better time and space in your life to build yourself up.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Go and start working out, read books, have challenging conversations, and learn new skills.</p><p>Don&#8217;t default to basics because you never know what is awaiting you in the future, and the skills you might need to survive.</p><p>Be better for yourself, your loved ones, the ones in need, your community, strangers, and the world.</p><p><em><strong>So, how much can you endure?</strong></em></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>2. Wisdom tooth</strong></h2><p><strong>How do you deal with pain?</strong></p><p>The biggest enemy of us all is pain.</p><p>Everything in our lives can go according to plan. </p><p>It can even seem perfect when suddenly tooth pain hits, knee issues appear, or your back feels so stiff that you can barely rotate.</p><p>What do we do in these situations?</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>When our body is in pain, our mind often weakens.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>The same voice of willpower you had to go to the gym every morning is suddenly telling you to stay in bed and take another painkiller because you couldn&#8217;t even sleep because of the pain.</p><p>Everyone has a different pain threshold, and each of us experiences pain differently.</p><p>Yet we all know the feeling when we can&#8217;t even focus on doing everyday things because the pain is so persistent and annoying.</p><p>I know this feeling well. Not long ago, my wisdom tooth decided to make my life miserable.</p><p>Everything in me wanted to get more sleep.</p><p>The day before, my tooth was already making sure that I suffered.</p><p>The painkillers barely did anything, and I was questioning my life at work. </p><p>Why me again?</p><p>Guess what, it didn&#8217;t help to question my life.</p><p>I had a run on my schedule that day, which was going to be everything but fun.</p><p>If you know the feeling, with every bounce of the stride, the pain hits the nerve, making it even more present.</p><p>But I went anyway.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Our minds will always try to play with us and convince us that we don&#8217;t need to do the hard things.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>It is for a simple reason. Our minds are programmed from evolution to keep us safe.</p><p>Which doesn&#8217;t always mean that we should listen to these instincts.</p><p>This, too, is a way to build a stronger mind.</p><p>Pushing through the pain is teaching us a lot.</p><p>It shows us that we can do more than we thought we could.</p><p>On the other hand, keep in mind that despite this, we are all mortals.</p><p>Pursue big and hard things. Just don&#8217;t get killed in the process of achieving them.</p><p>Face death often, but don&#8217;t let it take you before your time comes.</p><p><em><strong>What is your pain threshold for life situations?</strong></em></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>3. Health is everything</strong></h2><p><strong>Do we actually care about our health?</strong></p><p>Looking at today&#8217;s world, we see two opposite camps.</p><p>On one hand, there are people turning into athletes, tracking everything that they eat and drink, and raising the bar for everyone around them since COVID.</p><p>On the other hand, we have people who believe they can eat whatever they want, as much as they want, without raising any awareness.</p><p>And it&#8217;s not only about food.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>It is about everything we do.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Our lives were never built on perfection of one thing.</p><p>Our lives are built on all the things connected.</p><p>From daily movement, nutritious food, maintenance of our mental health, strong bonds with loved ones and connections with peers, to financial prosperity.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Health is everything above and much more.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>At the same time it all boils down to one single thing.</p><p>When we are healthy and fit, no one stops to think about what it would be like if we weren&#8217;t.</p><p>One thing happens and we become suddenly limited. It&#8217;s like everything stops.</p><p>Our motivation and willpower drift to places we have never seen.</p><p>Be thankful for the health you have before it diminishes.</p><p>You will meet a version of yourself you never thought you had inside of you.</p><p><em><strong>Go and do something for your health today.</strong></em></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>4. Having fun</strong></h2><p><strong>How do you have fun in life?</strong></p><p>How can a person even answer such a question, when everyone perceives fun differently?</p><p>What is fun for me doesn&#8217;t need to be fun for you, and vice versa.</p><p>What can most people agree on is that fun is more fun when people have a drink or two, right?</p><p>I was definitely one of them.</p><p>Big promoter of alcohol and fun connected with it.</p><p>After a certain age, and after certain experiences, things started to change.</p><p>It was still fun to go outside but it was less and less fun the next day.</p><p>Especially when I started doing sports and working out regularly.</p><p>Missing a workout started to feel like a big tradeoff for that one night of fun before.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>My priorities and perception of fun started to shift.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>I would prefer daytime activities over nights out.</p><p>For a very simple reason.</p><p>Energy.</p><p>My energy and willingness to do things increased extremely when I went to bed early and woke up early.</p><p>Suddenly, I felt I could do so much more with my time and with my options.</p><p>It was an instant boost in confidence and self-belief.</p><p>So I decided to take on a challenge.</p><p>No alcohol for 1000 days.</p><p>It was my first 1000-day challenge I ever gave myself.</p><p>The reason was simple: </p><blockquote><p><em><strong>I wanted to re-learn how to have fun in life without needing a drink.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>It was strange and odd for the first couple of months.</p><p>As young teenagers, we started drinking at the age of 15. It was the age when you start going out with friends and exploring the world and options around you.</p><p>When all of this time is connected with alcohol your brain makes the connection.</p><p>Fun = Alcohol.</p><p>A couple of years later you go out and you need to drive, let&#8217;s say.</p><p>You find yourself being uncomfortable in your own skin, being out and not drinking because you don&#8217;t know how to behave.</p><p>Something that was always automatic for you is suddenly a whole thinking process full of questions.</p><p>How should I stand here so I don&#8217;t look too serious or boring?</p><p>What should I say to these strangers?</p><p>I don&#8217;t get this joke, why should I laugh?</p><p>Was going out always so boring?</p><p>Do I even know these people?</p><p>Am I friends with these people just because of the shared history, or do I actually like these people?</p><p>It can be frightening to some because it feels like a completely new, undiscovered world.</p><p>We tend to think we already know how the world works, that we've figured out the basics, and that this should be something we've already mastered.</p><p>Or at least that&#8217;s how I felt thinking about all the parties and events I went to between being 15 and 25.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>What came after a couple of months of doing this challenge was unexpected.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>I not only started having fun going out, but I also started really enjoying being sober all the time.</p><p>I went to concerts, parties, solo trips, and weddings, and it all felt so good without even a drop of alcohol.</p><p>So, how do you have fun in life?</p><p>By your own terms.</p><p>The path I chose was life-changing for me.</p><p>But it doesn&#8217;t mean it&#8217;s for everyone.</p><p><em><strong>How do you have fun in your life?</strong></em></p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption"><em>If you found your way here for the first time, subscribe and stick around.</em></p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div><h2><strong>5. Give yourself a break</strong></h2><p><strong>How and when to give yourself a break?</strong></p><p>If you are anything like me there is no break in our schedule. </p><p>There is only work and questions on how to achieve more.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>But have you ever thought about the fact that you might be chasing the wrong thing?</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>That all this work you are putting in is pointless because instead of pulling something closer to you, you are actually pushing it further away?</p><p>One thing, which is hard, even though I still learn how to execute this properly, is to take a break.</p><p>The story which society was feeding us with is that you need to have everything figured out by 30 and be successful because otherwise you are a loser, and behind, and I don&#8217;t know what else. It&#8217;s a lie.</p><p>Six years ago I thought that by this age I need to have a house, car, and kid on the way.</p><p>Today I know myself better and also understand life much better.</p><p>My priorities, values, and principles have changed and I look at life very differently than I did back then.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>If I wouldn&#8217;t have changed my perspective on life and rushed myself into everything I mentioned, my life would look very different today.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>By that said, I don&#8217;t mean to depreciate people who start families early, or say that there is something bad about it, as long as you really want it.</p><p>What I&#8217;m trying to say you here is don't feel pressured by society and others telling you what you should achieve by what time.</p><p>We might have different timelines in life, but the same time I have, you have too.</p><p>Sometimes to see the bigger picture where you are heading you need to step back and look at your life from above, from a different perspective.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Sometimes the best way to move forward is actually to take a break.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>As I mentioned before, it&#8217;s hard to take a break in today&#8217;s world because everything around us is telling us to go even faster, to aim for even bigger things, to achieve more than beyond what is achievable. </p><p>And I&#8217;m not surprised.</p><p>Look at social media.</p><p>All you see is successful people living great lives, traveling, buying expensive things, eating at great restaurants, having the best time all the time. </p><p>And the algorithm is serving this to you on a silver platter every day and quietly feeding your brain with doubts.</p><p>No wonder then questions about what you have done wrong in your life and why you also don&#8217;t live a life like that start creeping on you.</p><p>Here comes an important lesson, or two.</p><p>First, don&#8217;t trust everything you see on the internet. It sounds clich&#233; but it&#8217;s more true than ever before.</p><p>Second, don&#8217;t compare yourself and your life to anyone else.</p><p>As I said, you have time.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Figure out for yourself what you want your life to look like.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>What taking a break doesn&#8217;t mean:</p><ul><li><p>It doesn&#8217;t mean turning into a lazy couch potato. </p></li><li><p>It doesn&#8217;t mean staying home all the time and not socializing. </p></li><li><p>It doesn&#8217;t mean drinking and taking drugs. </p></li><li><p>It doesn&#8217;t mean being unemployed. </p></li><li><p>It doesn&#8217;t mean to stop trying. </p></li><li><p>And it doesn&#8217;t mean to stop wanting a better life for yourself and your family.</p></li></ul><p>And much more.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Taking a break means that you give yourself the time you need to understand yourself better to make better choices on your journey.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Taking a break can mean to dedicate time every week to relax and do something you purely enjoy and have fun with.</p><p>Or plan a vacation with your partner, or even alone, and go explore something new.</p><p>It&#8217;s not about doing less. It&#8217;s about doing more of what you truly enjoy and what is recharging you.</p><p><strong>Go and achieve great things in life, you deserve it.</strong></p><p>Aim big, because the sky is only the starting line, not a limit.</p><p>Just stay true to yourself, your values, and your principles.</p><p>There is no universal metric for a successful and meaningful life. </p><p>You are the one who is giving your life meaning, not anyone else.</p><p><em><strong>Make it count.</strong></em></p><div class="captioned-button-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/what-are-you-built-for?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;}" data-component-name="CaptionedButtonToDOM"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption"><em>If this resonated with you, share it with one person who needs it today.</em></p></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/what-are-you-built-for?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/what-are-you-built-for?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p></div><h2><strong>6. Opening up</strong></h2><p><strong>Do you talk about your emotions?</strong></p><p>Talking about emotions and being open about what&#8217;s happening inside has gone many ways in the last couple of years in society.</p><p>Women usually never have a problem with expressing emotions on the surface and showing others on the outside if they are sad, happy, or angry.</p><p>They just know how to do it and are better at this than men ever will be.</p><p>Men on the other hand historically almost always had a tougher time knowing how to express their emotions, or how to show them on the surface in a public setting.</p><p>In the last couple of years men have been facing a lot of criticism.</p><p>One side is criticising men about their toxic masculinity and the other is criticising them for being way too emotional.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Sometimes it is hard to know what to do.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Just to be clear here. I didn&#8217;t mean to offend anyone.</p><p>It is obviously your decision.</p><p>But being able to talk about your emotions can be really helpful. </p><p>Not only for communication with others but also for communication with yourself.</p><p><em><strong>What is your stand on this?</strong></em></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>7. Dive deeper</strong></h2><p><strong>How do you build the life you want?</strong></p><p>This is the million dollar question everyone is asking themselves.</p><p>It&#8217;s not about money, status, or power.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>It is about the different individual needs and dreams which each one of us has.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>You want to be a rich rockstar singer flying around the world in private jets.</p><p>Your friend wants to be a fireman in the neighbourhood and dreams about owning a lot of cats.</p><p>Your cousin is dreaming about her own caf&#233; with a little bakery and hoping to meet her future husband during volunteer work.</p><p>The combinations of these realities are endless and the possible outcomes too.</p><p>That would probably mean that there can&#8217;t be one universal formula for building the life you want, right?</p><p>Today&#8217;s internet gurus would argue with me because they want to sell you some unique course or retreat in Bali for a couple of thousands so you can buy something that is not possible to buy.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>No one else in this world knows what, where, how, and why you want it.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>It&#8217;s a lonely journey first as you need to dive deeper inside of you to discover what is there for you to be uncovered.</p><p>Once you know yourself from within, you will have a clear understanding which path is for you to take and what is awaiting you there at the end.</p><p>The easier part comes after this.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Once you have your vision, you need to put the work in.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>That&#8217;s where discipline comes into place and often sacrifices.</p><p>Don&#8217;t look at the sacrifices you will need to make during this journey as something bad. The world will try to get you off course and offer a lot of shiny objects to distract you.</p><p>Remember your why, and continue to build the life you want.</p><p><em><strong>What does your life design look like?</strong></em></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/what-are-you-built-for/comments&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Leave a comment&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/what-are-you-built-for/comments"><span>Leave a comment</span></a></p><div><hr></div><p><em>I aim to deliver the most personal stories, insights, and lessons from real-world experiences I have lived through over the past decade. As I continue building my life and trying to be a better version of myself, I am documenting this journey and the lessons from my life for people who might need to hear them.</em></p><p><em><strong>- Luk&#225;&#353;</strong></em></p><div class="directMessage button" data-attrs="{&quot;userId&quot;:65219253,&quot;userName&quot;:&quot;Luk&#225;&#353; &#268;abaj&quot;,&quot;canDm&quot;:null,&quot;dmUpgradeOptions&quot;:null,&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}" data-component-name="DirectMessageToDOM"></div><p></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[What's Waiting Inside of You]]></title><description><![CDATA[Day 34 - 40 / 1000]]></description><link>https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/whats-waiting-inside-of-you</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/whats-waiting-inside-of-you</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Lukáš Čabaj]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Fri, 17 Apr 2026 16:46:34 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WAsX!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbd91da5c-1fd0-42e7-8fd1-34c4057989ba.heic" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Most of the paths in front of you have already been walked by someone else.</p><p>That doesn&#8217;t make them wrong.</p><p>But the one no one has walked yet?</p><p>That one is yours.</p><p>This week, I wrote about choosing, enduring, and discovering what&#8217;s been waiting inside of you all along.</p><h2><em><strong>Here is what has been on my mind this week:</strong></em></h2><ol><li><p><em>Crossroad of decisions</em></p></li><li><p><em>Ego</em></p></li><li><p><em>Perfectionism is not going to serve you</em></p></li><li><p><em>Role models</em></p></li><li><p><em>Pivot</em></p></li><li><p><em>You are a valuable person</em></p></li><li><p><em>Beyond the gold standard</em></p></li></ol><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WAsX!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbd91da5c-1fd0-42e7-8fd1-34c4057989ba.heic" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WAsX!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbd91da5c-1fd0-42e7-8fd1-34c4057989ba.heic 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WAsX!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbd91da5c-1fd0-42e7-8fd1-34c4057989ba.heic 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WAsX!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbd91da5c-1fd0-42e7-8fd1-34c4057989ba.heic 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WAsX!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbd91da5c-1fd0-42e7-8fd1-34c4057989ba.heic 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WAsX!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbd91da5c-1fd0-42e7-8fd1-34c4057989ba.heic" width="684" height="911.8434065934066" 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srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WAsX!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbd91da5c-1fd0-42e7-8fd1-34c4057989ba.heic 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WAsX!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbd91da5c-1fd0-42e7-8fd1-34c4057989ba.heic 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WAsX!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbd91da5c-1fd0-42e7-8fd1-34c4057989ba.heic 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WAsX!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbd91da5c-1fd0-42e7-8fd1-34c4057989ba.heic 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p style="text-align: center;"></p><h2><strong>1. Crossroad of decisions</strong></h2><p>The power of the unknown.</p><p>As we grow up and become adults, we often face crossroads in our decisions.</p><p>The different paths to choose from.</p><p>One is heading into the unknown, leaving us uncertain about the final destination without promise.</p><p>The second is leading us somewhere safe, somewhere where the outcome can be foreseen.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Neither of these two paths is good or bad.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Our consciousness will give them the label afterwards anyway.</p><p>What these moments present to us is a choice.</p><p>A choice which can, and will, radically change our life. That&#8217;s inevitable.</p><p>So how do you choose?</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Choose the path of the unknown if you are willing to discover hidden parts of yourself and experience both highs and lows.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Remember, there is no certainty, and no promise of reward on this path.</p><p>The only thing that is promised is that there is growth, and there might be untouched potential to be reached with unimaginable return at the end.</p><p>Be aware of the risk. Be aware of the fact that it can be the best or the worst decision you will make.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Choose the safe path if you want to put your laser focus on the destination from the start.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>People did it before. The roadblocks were already discovered and can be therefore avoided, or at least dealt with with more resources.</p><p>You know what you can expect from the outcome.</p><p>But be aware of the fact that just because others made it there and the road seems to be already uncovered, that you can&#8217;t assume you won&#8217;t fail.</p><p>As I said at the beginning, neither of these two paths is better than the other.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Ask yourself which path appeals to you more and go for it. Don&#8217;t waste time choosing the perfect one because there is none.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>I think you already know which one to choose.</p><p>Just look inside of you.</p><p><strong>Where are you heading right now?</strong></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>2. Ego</strong></h2><p><strong>Is the ego really an enemy?</strong></p><p>Many of you have probably read the book from Ryan Holiday called Ego is the Enemy.</p><p>Our ego is something that is always with us, in every situation.</p><p>It takes a lot of skills to learn how to tame it and control it, especially when situations escalate to certain heights.</p><p>We often hear about ego in bad lighting.</p><p>We see world politicians making decisions purely out of their narcissistic and egoistic nature and the only thing left for us to think is, how the f*ck can this person be the head of the country.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>But there are times when ego can also have a positive effect on you and on the situation you are in.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Maybe you have a public speaking event coming up. Maybe you need to deal with a hard conversation at work.</p><p>These situations require you to trust yourself and be confident so you can deliver what matters to you.</p><p>What you do is tap into your ego to gain that extra self-trust and confidence, so you can manage those situations.</p><p>What you don&#8217;t want to do is think that you are the smartest person in the room, or that nothing can surprise you.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Be strong and confident, but don&#8217;t be a fool, thinking you've made it and that no one is smarter or better than you.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>That will bring you down.</p><p><strong>What is your perception of ego in your life?</strong></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>3. Perfectionism is not going to serve you</strong></h2><p><strong>How to prepare for something important to you?</strong></p><p>Since we were kids, we have known the feeling of preparing for something important to us, something exciting.</p><p>First, it was a kindergarten show for parents where we demonstrated our strengths.</p><p>Then it was maybe our first school sports match or singing show.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Most of the time, our thoughts and feelings were connected with excitement and joy.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>We couldn&#8217;t even sleep the night before because we wanted it to happen so badly.</p><p>Now my question. Do you feel like this in your adult life when something important is about to happen?</p><p>When you need to prepare for a presentation or perhaps a meeting.</p><p>Most people would say no.</p><p>The excitement and joy we used to feel back then have now turned into too much coffee, stress, anxiety, and sleepless nights.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>The core of it didn&#8217;t change.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>There is some performance awaited from us, there are going to be people looking at us, and once it is over we can go home again as we did before.</p><p>So why do we behave like this?</p><p>How do we prepare for something important?</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>The key lies in the expectations. Not from others, but from our own expectations we put on ourselves.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Often, we want to be perfect. </p><p>We want to land every line, change the slides at the perfect moment, get smiles from specific people, and receive a pat on the shoulder and a firm handshake afterward.</p><p>Perfectionism is not going to serve you for a long period.</p><p>So lower your expectations, give yourself a pat on the shoulder the day before, relax a bit, and have a good night&#8217;s sleep.</p><p>It doesn&#8217;t matter what others think. You can&#8217;t go in their minds and change things.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Each of us is a special individual, and in the work context, even more so.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Try to find that excitement and joy you used to feel as a kid before your sports match or singing show.</p><p>Be you, not just the boring and overstressed adult.</p><p><em><strong>We are going to die one day anyway, so why make our days here miserable?</strong></em></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>4. Role models</strong></h2><p><strong>What is inspiration, and how does it affect us?</strong></p><p>Throughout our lives, we find inspiration in many different places and people.</p><p>We place these people on a pedestal like our heroes and role models.</p><p>We firmly agree with what they say, think, and preach.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>But sometimes it can go too far, and we end up just blindly following these role models, like sheep.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>We promote them in front of our family and friends, we share them on social media, and we even end up thinking of them as friends and that they are loyal to us, just as we are to them.</p><p>Well, that&#8217;s usually not the case.</p><p>There was a time when I was blindly following some close friends, but also social media world figures.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Here's what this costs.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>I used to have a friend whom I would blindly follow and do whatever he would do.</p><p>Back then, that meant trying weed for the first time, drinking on weekends. Then I started smoking weed more often, eventually even trying different drugs.</p><p>In my eyes, he was the cool guy.</p><p>He had girls, was always up for fun, and made me feel cool, too.</p><p>After some time, things with him started getting a bit more shady.</p><p>He would start selling drugs and meet with people from these circles more often because of the easier access to different drugs and opportunities.</p><p>He would also become extremely unreliable.</p><p>We would agree to meet to go out, and he wouldn&#8217;t show up. </p><p>He wouldn&#8217;t answer the phone, always had excuses, and would cancel meetups when I would already be on my way.</p><p>When things with someone get to the point that you feel that it&#8217;s just effort from your side and the other person doesn&#8217;t care and respect you anymore, it&#8217;s time to reconsider your friends.</p><p>I did the same.</p><p>After all these situations, I realized what kind of influence this guy had on me during those years.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>I cut him off from my life, and things changed for the better.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Another example would be more recent.</p><p>I liked this podcaster very much. </p><p>His words and insights resonated with me so much, and to be honest, they still do, but that&#8217;s another topic.</p><p>At the beginning, when I discovered him, I was, again, just blindly following whatever he said, including the advertisement spots in his show.</p><p>I started looking at the products he was suggesting, as they would be the best way to go.</p><p>And so I ended up using supplements that I didn&#8217;t need and that weren&#8217;t really doing anything for over 6 months, and spending so much money on them.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Because of what? Just because some dude on the internet said that it&#8217;s best?</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Don&#8217;t trust everything your favorite creators say on the internet.</p><p>They are being paid for those words a lot of the time, if not all the time.</p><p>Do your research, think about it yourself, and ask hard questions before you start buying things you either don&#8217;t need or that are not useful for you.</p><p>To finalize this.</p><p>What I meant by all of this is that you should choose your inspiration and role models carefully.</p><p>You never know how much impact they can have on you, and whether that impact will be positive or negative for your life.</p><p><strong>Who is your role model right now, and why?</strong></p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption"><em>If you found your way here for the first time, subscribe and stick around.</em></p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div><h2><strong>5. Pivot</strong></h2><p><strong>Pivot or endure?</strong></p><p>We face these two questions all the time.</p><p>With whatever we start in our life, it might be a new project, a new skill we want to acquire, a new relationship, or a new job.</p><p>Sooner or later, we are going to hit a point where we&#8217;ll face the decision if we should pivot to do and focus on something else because this thing, this path we thought was going to bring us somewhere, is not working anymore.</p><p>Or, no matter the roadblock and hard times, I&#8217;m going to continue and bring this thing to the finish.</p><p>For a very long time, even at the time of writing this, I was enslaved to the idea of always pivoting and trying different things.</p><p>I believed that if I tried a lot of things it would help me find my passion, my calling, my thing. Call it however you want.</p><p>What I didn&#8217;t understand until now is that this is costing you time, the most valuable asset you have.</p><p>On one hand it is important to try things out in your 20s, absolutely.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>On the other hand, by never finishing anything and just always jumping on the next shiny object, you can never really learn to do the one thing properly and never taste the potential success and mastery of doing that and bringing it to the finish line.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>There is a place and time for a pivot.</p><p>But that decision should come from a complete understanding of the reason behind it.</p><p>Are you pivoting because this project is really nothing you want to do? </p><p>It&#8217;s sh*t, it&#8217;s sinking, causing stress, your life is misery, and you can&#8217;t even think about another day of continuing?</p><p>Or is progress just too slow and you want money and success now instead of in 5 years?</p><p><strong>You already know the answer.</strong></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>6. You are a valuable person</strong></h2><p><strong>The power of your origin story.</strong></p><p>I recently heard a very interesting point of view on personal branding.</p><p>This guy on a podcast said, &#8220;If anyone in the world can say something about you, you have a personal brand.&#8221;</p><p>I really liked it for two reasons.</p><p>First, it shows us that everyone has value.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>We often think that we are not enough despite the fact that we are doing the best we can in the given moment. And I&#8217;m guilty of this myself.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>The standard and perfection I&#8217;m setting for myself are often so high that anything else than success is a failure.</p><p>And even the victory, it&#8217;s just okay.</p><p>It comes down to our own perceived value and self-love.</p><p>Maybe it was someone in school when you were young, or someone at home who taught you that it doesn&#8217;t matter how much you tried, you could have always done better.</p><p>For me it&#8217;s a lifelong journey from discovering to understanding what it is today.</p><p>I&#8217;m not trying to only understand it but also work on to be less cruel with myself and allow myself to celebrate the small and big wins in life.</p><p>That brings me back to that quote.</p><p>Hearing that everyone has basically a personal brand also means for me, in translation, that basically everyone is a valuable person.</p><p>Not only from now on, or from yesterday, but from the moment you are born.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>You are born as a valuable person, and you will die as a valuable person.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Your only task with this in your life is to understand that fact, to be aware of it, and keep reminding yourself often that you are indeed a valuable person.</p><p>Second, you can be whoever you want, doing whatever brings joy to you, and you will still matter.</p><p>It&#8217;s not meant in a way that you need to build something extraordinary now.</p><p>It&#8217;s meant to show you to not be afraid to chase your dreams and goals, because it doesn&#8217;t matter what path you choose to go with, you mean something.</p><p><strong>Do you struggle with self-worth and self-love?</strong></p><div class="captioned-button-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/whats-waiting-inside-of-you?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;}" data-component-name="CaptionedButtonToDOM"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption"><em>If this resonated with you, share it with one person who needs it today.</em></p></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/whats-waiting-inside-of-you?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/whats-waiting-inside-of-you?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p></div><h2><strong>7. Beyond the gold standard</strong></h2><p><strong>Never ignore your physical capabilities.</strong></p><p>Working on your physical strength and endurance of your body is one of the most important tasks in your life.</p><p>Not only is it the direct precursor of your longevity, but it is also a source of energy, motivation, and confidence.</p><p>Seeing your body slowly transforming into better shape and getting stronger is one of the most satisfying moments in life.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>It is a direct mirror of the hard work you have put into it.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>It doesn&#8217;t matter if you are a man or woman.</p><p>You need to do some form of physical exercise.</p><p>You might not think about this when you are 20. </p><p>You feel like life just started, you want to go out and have fun with friends, and the last thing you think about is your health because everything is working smoothly.</p><p>I get it. I have been there.</p><p>But I was also on the other side of the spectrum.</p><p>Where my body was exceeding my expectations of physical strength and endurance.</p><p>Distances which would never cross my mind I would be able to run were suddenly my regular training, and it felt amazing.</p><p>Weights I never thought I would be able to lift were regular training.</p><p>It is your responsibility to uncover what is waiting inside of you.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Don&#8217;t spend life being average and thinking that sitting in front of the TV with beer and chips is the gold standard. It&#8217;s not.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>You can be better than you think.</p><p>You can be better for yourself, not for anyone else out there.</p><p><em><strong>Will you?</strong></em></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/whats-waiting-inside-of-you/comments&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Leave a comment&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/whats-waiting-inside-of-you/comments"><span>Leave a comment</span></a></p><div><hr></div><p><em>I aim to deliver the most personal stories, insights, and lessons from real-world experiences I have lived through over the past decade. As I continue building my life and trying to be a better version of myself, I am documenting this journey and the lessons from my life for people who might need to hear them.</em></p><p><em><strong>- Luk&#225;&#353;</strong></em></p><div class="directMessage button" data-attrs="{&quot;userId&quot;:65219253,&quot;userName&quot;:&quot;Luk&#225;&#353; &#268;abaj&quot;,&quot;canDm&quot;:null,&quot;dmUpgradeOptions&quot;:null,&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}" data-component-name="DirectMessageToDOM"></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[You Already Know]]></title><description><![CDATA[Day 27 - 33 / 1000]]></description><link>https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/you-already-know</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/you-already-know</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Lukáš Čabaj]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sat, 11 Apr 2026 15:38:19 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/bfd21e4f-b707-41b5-a2a8-e8b4205f092c_3088x2316.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>You already know what you need to do. </p><p>You've known for a while now. </p><p>This week, I wrote about why we keep avoiding it, and what it costs us when we do.</p><h2><em><strong>Here is what has been on my mind this week:</strong></em></h2><ol><li><p><em>Most valuable currency</em></p></li><li><p><em>Don&#8217;t listen to that voice</em></p></li><li><p><em>Motivated, or not</em></p></li><li><p><em>Be prepared to sacrifice</em></p></li><li><p><em>The conversation you keep replaying</em></p></li><li><p><em>You know what to do&#8230;</em></p></li><li><p><em>You know the answer</em></p></li></ol><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!NFVo!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F44305893-cf2a-40b8-a886-2dd6d3c088c1_2316x3088.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!NFVo!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F44305893-cf2a-40b8-a886-2dd6d3c088c1_2316x3088.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!NFVo!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F44305893-cf2a-40b8-a886-2dd6d3c088c1_2316x3088.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!NFVo!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F44305893-cf2a-40b8-a886-2dd6d3c088c1_2316x3088.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!NFVo!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F44305893-cf2a-40b8-a886-2dd6d3c088c1_2316x3088.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!NFVo!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F44305893-cf2a-40b8-a886-2dd6d3c088c1_2316x3088.jpeg" width="628" height="837.1895604395604" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/44305893-cf2a-40b8-a886-2dd6d3c088c1_2316x3088.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:1941,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:628,&quot;bytes&quot;:1855340,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/i/193864100?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F44305893-cf2a-40b8-a886-2dd6d3c088c1_2316x3088.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!NFVo!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F44305893-cf2a-40b8-a886-2dd6d3c088c1_2316x3088.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!NFVo!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F44305893-cf2a-40b8-a886-2dd6d3c088c1_2316x3088.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!NFVo!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F44305893-cf2a-40b8-a886-2dd6d3c088c1_2316x3088.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!NFVo!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F44305893-cf2a-40b8-a886-2dd6d3c088c1_2316x3088.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p style="text-align: center;"></p><h2><strong>1. Most valuable currency</strong></h2><p>You need to trust yourself first.</p><p>Don&#8217;t expect others to trust you before you trust yourself.</p><p>Self-trust is earned by life experiences.</p><p>You are earning that trust by doing what you said you are going to do.</p><p>If you said to yourself you are going to do 100 push-ups a day and then you hit day 3 and you skip it, you can&#8217;t trust yourself.</p><p>If you said you are going to eat healthier and you hit the second week and you went full on pizza again, you can&#8217;t trust yourself.</p><p>It&#8217;s hard, and our mind is often telling us that it&#8217;s fine to not do it, it&#8217;s fine to skip it, it&#8217;s fine.</p><p>But it&#8217;s not.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>You need to do the hard things you said you are going to do because if you can&#8217;t trust your own words why the hell would anyone else trust you.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>When we are young, we don&#8217;t really pay that much attention to this because things tend to pass quite easily.</p><p>But what happens if you decide to start a business or a project?</p><p>What then?</p><p>You can&#8217;t build a business, your body, or your mind without trusting yourself and your words first.</p><p>Self-trust is the most valuable currency you can own because it&#8217;s very hard to earn and very easy to lose if you are not careful with how you make decisions and navigate life.</p><p><em><strong>Is there something you said you are going to do but drifted off?</strong></em></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>2. Don&#8217;t listen to that voice</strong></h2><p>There are days in our lives when we made plans but forgot to do some important things and we realize literally before going to bed that it needs to be done.</p><p>There are going to be questions on those days, questions and an inner voice telling you things like:</p><p>Do I really need to do it today?</p><p>What if I just skip today and catch up tomorrow?</p><p>It&#8217;s okay today, I will do it another time.</p><p>I&#8217;m tired, it&#8217;s late.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Don&#8217;t listen to that voice.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>You know very well that if you push and finish today it will be easier tomorrow and there are going to be no regrets.</p><p>You do the opposite, it will probably haunt you somewhere in the back of your mind.</p><p>Because you knew that you could have done better and you had the opportunity to do so.</p><p>So do what&#8217;s necessary to achieve the things you set yourself up to do.</p><p><em><strong>Is your mind trying to convince you &#8220;that it is okay&#8221; as well?</strong></em></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>3. Motivated, or not</strong></h2><p><strong>Are you motivated to go after your goals today?</strong></p><p>Because motivation comes and goes.</p><p>It can come from inside or outside.</p><p>Sometimes it lasts for a long time, sometimes for one hour.</p><p>When a person puts the whole strategy on achieving something into the hands of motivation it is almost predetermined that it will not lead to any success.</p><p>Why?</p><p>Because without the discipline you are not going to do a shit.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Discipline doesn&#8217;t care if you are motivated or not. Discipline is about doing what is necessary to achieve the desired outcome, every day.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Not only on days or moments when you feel motivated or feel like doing it.</p><p>Discipline is not forgiving, does not promise you anything, it will test you, your hard work, and your power of mind without a clear promise at the end of the journey.</p><p>But if you sustain that discipline, if you endure the moments of sickness, tiredness, unmotivation, and unwillingness to do anything, you will be rewarded.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>By all means, this is not about the hustle culture. It is not about burning yourself to the point from which there is no way back.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>The perfect example is working out.</p><p>If you never went to the gym and suddenly today you want to lift 100kg on a deadlift you are going to hurt yourself big time because your body, and neither your mind, is prepared to endure that.</p><p>But if you go to the gym 4 or 5 times a week, start eating continuously better food, and work on yourself to build muscles and your mind.</p><p>Sooner or later you are going to hit that 100kg on a deadlift without any problem.</p><p>It might take a couple of tries and errors before actually landing it properly but you will hit that.</p><p>The same goes in life.</p><p>If you discipline yourself to work on something without excuses you&#8217;ll build yourself up to the point where the goal you were aiming for is much closer.</p><p>With some tries and errors you will eventually hit that goal you are aiming for.</p><p>The truth is that you can be motivated as much as you want but without the actual work and discipline you wouldn&#8217;t land far.</p><p><em><strong>How do you approach your goals?</strong></em></p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption"><em>If you found your way here for the first time, subscribe and stick around.</em></p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div><h2><strong>4. Be prepared to sacrifice</strong></h2><p>Doing hard things in life is necessary.</p><p>Most of what you want to achieve lies on the other side of hard things you are avoiding to do.</p><p>Maybe it&#8217;s the hard conversation, maybe it&#8217;s quitting your job, maybe it&#8217;s getting in shape, or maybe it&#8217;s reconnecting with your family.</p><p>I believe that we are often, especially in today&#8217;s world, drawn to the easy things, the shiny objects.</p><p>It&#8217;s easier than ever to see everyone succeeding on social media which causes us to think that if they have it we can too.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>But what we often forget is that social media is only a showcase of someone&#8217;s life, not necessarily the complete truth.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>We then get attached to the outcome of others.</p><p>We think that they just got where they are overnight so we can too.</p><p>We over-romanticize the journey and final destination while underestimating the effort it takes to get there.</p><p>That, my friend, is the recipe for burnout and disappointment in your life.</p><p>Sooner or later you would hit roadblocks you never thought about, things start getting hard, and you are suddenly doubting your choice because the outcome doesn&#8217;t seem to be that sweet anymore when the journey is so hard.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Choose your own journey based on yourself.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Be prepared to sacrifice in order to achieve something greater because nothing in life comes blindly after you all alone without any effort.</p><p>Yes, there are cases and occasions when some achievements happen easier than others but betting your life on getting lucky like your high school friend is a match you lost before it even started.</p><p><em><strong>What is the hard thing you were avoiding lately?</strong></em></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>5. The conversation you keep replaying</strong></h2><p>You know that thing you keep going back to in your head.</p><p>That conversation you haven&#8217;t had yet but you&#8217;ve already rehearsed a hundred times.</p><p>You play it out in your mind. You imagine what they will say. You imagine how it could go wrong. You imagine the silence after.</p><p>And then you don&#8217;t do it.</p><p>So it stays there. Sitting in your chest. Coming back every night right before you fall asleep.</p><p>You might be asking yourself, why is it so hard?</p><p>Why can&#8217;t I just say what I have on my mind and on my heart?</p><p>Am I going to hurt this person, or even worse, am I going to lose this person?</p><p>What if that really happens?</p><p>What will my life be like afterwards?</p><p>Where are my next steps going to go?</p><p>Am I just being too picky, or is this really bothering me?</p><p>How do I find out what is behind these thoughts?</p><p>Am I going to wish that I haven&#8217;t done it, or am I going to be happy that it is finally off my shoulders?</p><p>There are countless questions like these wandering through our minds daily, sometimes even hourly.</p><p>They can&#8217;t let us sleep or think about something else, yet we still don&#8217;t do anything about them.</p><p>We believe that if we endure long enough this is going to go away on its own.</p><p>That somehow we are going to get it off our minds, that we forget somehow, that we put it under the carpet and continue to live happily.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><em><strong>It&#8217;s not going to happen.</strong></em></p></div><p>These thoughts and feelings you are holding inside of you and trying to avoid, they are going to keep creeping on you.</p><p>I get it, sometimes it is really hard to tell something very deep to someone you love.</p><p>You know inside of you that you are going to hurt someone you don&#8217;t want to hurt.</p><p>But at the same time you also know that keeping this to brew inside of you is hurting you in the end, and you don&#8217;t want to hurt yourself either.</p><p>You know how it feels, you remember that bitter feeling from last time, how hard it was, and you are trying to avoid this now at all costs.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>But by avoiding this you are actually causing yourself even greater harm.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>So do yourself a favor.</p><p>Give yourself a final deadline, take a deep breath, and go do it.</p><p>Life is not fair, nor always nice, but one thing is certain.</p><p>Hard times create easier times in the future.</p><p><em><strong>These hard lessons need to be learned because without them, how do we know who we really are and what we really want?</strong></em></p><div class="captioned-button-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/you-already-know?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;}" data-component-name="CaptionedButtonToDOM"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption"><em>If this resonated with you, share it with one person who needs it today.</em></p></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/you-already-know?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/you-already-know?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p></div><h2><strong>6. You know what to do&#8230;</strong></h2><p><strong>What is fear?</strong></p><p>Fear can have many faces.</p><p>There are universal fears that are scary for almost all of us except some special or trained individuals.</p><p>Most of us fear death.</p><p>It is the unknown about which we have only questions. We ask ourselves what is after we die and no one really knows the answer.</p><p>There are religions which are talking about places like heaven or hell where we are supposed to end up once this life is over.</p><p>But there is no certainty that it is like that.</p><p>So we are left in this life to choose our beliefs.</p><p>Most of us follow some kind of religion because it provides hope and certainty to their people.</p><p>On the other hand, some of us don&#8217;t have a strict religion.</p><p>We believe in different things, like cosmos, energy, higher consciousness, and other things that make sense to people.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>In the essence, we are all believing in something.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>It doesn&#8217;t matter what, even if it&#8217;s not believing anything, that is belief in its core too.</p><p>What does it have to do with fear?</p><p>As for death, there are many other situations that scare us.</p><p>They are different from one person to another.</p><p>Some of us fear heights, some of us fear tight places, some of us fear the dark, and some of us fear being home alone.</p><p>There can be countless amounts of fears a person can have, some irrational, some rational.</p><p>But one thing which all of them have in common is the hope that the person has deep inside that it&#8217;s going to be okay.</p><p>It is also an understanding of reality.</p><p>We don&#8217;t live in fear every second of our lives because our lives became easy, predictable, and safe for most people around the world.</p><p>When we encounter fear in our daily life we hope that it&#8217;s going to be alright again.</p><p>We don&#8217;t hope for the fear or the situation causing it to stay there forever.</p><p>Hope is something that is telling us that doing more in our life is going to bring us something good.</p><p>We hope that we can be successful at our job, we hope that we meet our future spouse, we hope that we made good decisions, we hope.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>But just hope is not enough, the same as motivation is not enough.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>It takes the courage and discipline to keep going to achieve what we dreamed of and hope for.</p><p>Do yourself the favor and go outside your comfort zone.</p><p>We are all going to die one day so why not use the time in between to do epic shit.</p><p><strong>You know what to do&#8230;</strong></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>7. You know the answer</strong></h2><p>Don&#8217;t be afraid to look deep inside of you and learn more about yourself.</p><p>There are plenty of people in this world who go through life without properly knowing themselves.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>I believe it&#8217;s one of the biggest misfortunes of life to not have a proper understanding of who we really are deep down.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>It is often a painful path at first to understand all of this and be willing to go even deeper.</p><p>But the question I have for you is: <strong>what is more painful?</strong></p><p>To go deep inside of you and face your traumas and fears but come out more at peace and with a clearer direction for your life.</p><p>Or go blindly through life ignoring ourselves from inside to end up on the death bed realizing we never knew and understood who we really are.</p><p><strong>You already know what the answer to this question is and I&#8217;ll leave you to sit with it.</strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/you-already-know/comments&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Leave a comment&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/you-already-know/comments"><span>Leave a comment</span></a></p><div><hr></div><p><em>I aim to deliver the most personal stories, insights, and lessons from real-world experiences I have lived through over the past decade. As I continue building my life and trying to be a better version of myself, I am documenting this journey and the lessons from my life for people who might need to hear them.</em></p><p><em><strong>- Luk&#225;&#353;</strong></em></p><div class="directMessage button" data-attrs="{&quot;userId&quot;:65219253,&quot;userName&quot;:&quot;Luk&#225;&#353; &#268;abaj&quot;,&quot;canDm&quot;:null,&quot;dmUpgradeOptions&quot;:null,&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}" data-component-name="DirectMessageToDOM"></div><p></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Choice Is Yours]]></title><description><![CDATA[Day 20-26 / 1000]]></description><link>https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/the-choice-is-yours</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/the-choice-is-yours</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Lukáš Čabaj]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sun, 05 Apr 2026 19:13:55 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/7a85e592-89d1-44e5-931a-0187d53744fb_1456x1048.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Pain is something that happens to you. Suffering is something you choose. </p><p>This week, I wrote about the difference, and about what happens when you stop carrying things that were never yours to hold.</p><h2><em><strong>Here is what has been on my mind this week:</strong></em></h2><ol><li><p><em>The choice is yours</em></p></li><li><p><em>Within your control</em></p></li><li><p><em>Winning, or losing, support your friends</em></p></li><li><p><em>Negative visualization</em></p></li><li><p><em>Excitement of a new project</em></p></li><li><p><em>Feeling proud</em></p></li><li><p><em>The Jersey lesson</em></p></li></ol><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!s_zM!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbe5e45f6-efc3-4cf2-b585-0c2eb1264a25_5712x4284.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!s_zM!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbe5e45f6-efc3-4cf2-b585-0c2eb1264a25_5712x4284.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!s_zM!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbe5e45f6-efc3-4cf2-b585-0c2eb1264a25_5712x4284.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!s_zM!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbe5e45f6-efc3-4cf2-b585-0c2eb1264a25_5712x4284.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!s_zM!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbe5e45f6-efc3-4cf2-b585-0c2eb1264a25_5712x4284.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!s_zM!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbe5e45f6-efc3-4cf2-b585-0c2eb1264a25_5712x4284.jpeg" width="657" height="875.8495879120879" 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srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!s_zM!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbe5e45f6-efc3-4cf2-b585-0c2eb1264a25_5712x4284.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!s_zM!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbe5e45f6-efc3-4cf2-b585-0c2eb1264a25_5712x4284.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!s_zM!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbe5e45f6-efc3-4cf2-b585-0c2eb1264a25_5712x4284.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!s_zM!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbe5e45f6-efc3-4cf2-b585-0c2eb1264a25_5712x4284.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p></p><h2><strong>1. The choice is yours</strong></h2><p><strong>How do you distinguish between &#8220;pain&#8221; (inevitable) and &#8220;suffering&#8221; (optional)?</strong></p><p>We are ultimately choosing our own suffering.</p><p>The fact that every person on this planet has experienced pain is obvious. The pain is inevitable.</p><p>We all have experienced all sorts of pain from childhood to adulthood.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Either physical or emotional pain, both of them are parts of life. They are not nice but they are not going to disappear.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>But what about suffering? How do we distinguish between these two?</p><p>Let&#8217;s look at the breakup.</p><p>When you break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend you feel heartbroken.</p><p>If you really loved this person and cared for them you are going to feel strong emotional pain. Some people say they feel even physical pain after such an experience.</p><p>This is pain. It&#8217;s inevitable. We all feel some kind of it.</p><p>But what happens after the breakup?</p><p>We have two routes a person can take.</p><p>The first is the path of learning from this experience and taking the good with you forward.</p><p>Sooner or later you are going to understand that there is more than one relationship you are going to have in your life.</p><p>It&#8217;s painful, sometimes for weeks or months, but eventually you understand the lesson and you are more than happy to move on.</p><p>The second path is the path of suffering.</p><p>This is the unnatural part which is chosen by you to follow.</p><p>It is never-ending trying to get the person back.</p><p>Listening to sad songs to feel even more sad.</p><p>Harming yourself.</p><p>Feeding yourself the dreams that you two are going to be back together.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>You are dragging yourself behind willingly without any reason.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>If the person would like to be with you then you would either never break up in the first place or would come back immediately.</p><p>The lesson from this is usually even stronger because it&#8217;s much more heavy.</p><p>Eventually, and hopefully, you move on. You learn the lesson that self-imposed suffering is not leading anywhere, in this case.</p><p>I think there is a special place for pain and suffering in the mindset of people who use these two as fuel to achieve something extraordinary.</p><p>Especially those who use it to fuel physical performance.</p><p>It&#8217;s almost alien how a person can turn something so strong and painful into power.</p><p>But this path is not for everyone.</p><p><strong>The choice is yours.</strong></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>2. Within your control</strong></h2><p><strong>What does it mean to focus only on what is &#8220;within your control&#8221; when everything feels chaotic?</strong></p><p>Things in life tend to get chaotic from time to time.</p><p>Sometimes it&#8217;s just one week, other times it&#8217;s months.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>When everything feels chaotic, it is hard to focus on things which are in our control because nothing feels like it would be in control or even close to it.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>This period of life is often very overwhelming. You can feel like there is no way out.</p><p>I often describe this feeling like drowning.</p><p>During this time, it feels like even breathing takes more effort than ever before.</p><p>What do you do when something like this happens?</p><p>Try to slow down. Find time to step back and reflect on past days, weeks, or months.</p><p>What is the thing that has been stealing energy from you?</p><p>Sit down with your own thoughts, write a journal, or meditate. The only way out is in.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Things might feel like they are only external and that the world is suddenly against you, but this is rarely the root of the problem.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Yes, sometimes life is not fair, and it happens that many external things occur at once. But it is the self-representation of these things which gives them the power.</p><p>If you carefully examine what is happening inside of you, you might discover the underlying cause of your chaotic life period.</p><p>Maybe it is the relationship which is making everything look harder.</p><p>Maybe your boss is sitting on you for no reason and it&#8217;s subconsciously making your life miserable.</p><p>Or maybe it&#8217;s your habits which you said to yourself 6 months ago you were going to change, and nothing happened, so it feels like you are going against yourself every day and can&#8217;t escape.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Once you take these steps to see what&#8217;s happening inside of you, you will find what is within your control.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>This realization and finding of the root cause will allow you to decrease the amount of chaos that is happening in your life right now, at least to the most controllable level.</p><p>Outside things are always going to be there. It might just be a chaotic year in your job or family because of a lot of changes.</p><p>You can keep at least a way more down-to-earth perspective once you discover the inner catalyst or problem which is multiplying everything from the outside so much.</p><p><em><strong>How do you feel lately? Are things within your control, or are they chaotic?</strong></em></p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption"><em>If you found your way here for the first time, subscribe and stick around.</em></p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div><h2><strong>3. Winning, or losing, support your friends</strong></h2><p><strong>How do you support a friend who is winning when you feel like you are losing?</strong></p><p>I believe that it is important to support friends under any circumstances.</p><p>It doesn&#8217;t matter if I&#8217;m losing right now, this person is still my friend and deserves the support.</p><p>Would it mean that just because my friend is winning and I&#8217;m losing right now, it is my friend&#8217;s fault? I don&#8217;t think so.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>During our life all of us go through periods of ups and downs.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>It just doesn&#8217;t make sense to support others only when I&#8217;m winning.</p><p>I want my friends to succeed all the time, and I believe that they want the same for me.</p><p>There are many ways to support your friend.</p><p>Small talk, pep talk, deep talk, short voice message, long text, FaceTime call, or even a greeting card with your words.</p><p>These are all the spoken and written ways to support a friend, and all of them count.</p><p>You can support a friend by showing up for them at their football match, or being there at their public presentation, or by standing in the crowd and shouting for them when they pass you while they run their first marathon.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>There are countless ways to support a friend.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Do what you can at the moment. There is no right or wrong.</p><p>Friendships are not about a scoreboard of who supported the other more or less.</p><p>Friendships are about being true to yourself and showing up in your best possible way for your friends.</p><p>Friendships are for the long run, so choose your company wisely.</p><p><em><strong>What is your way to support your friends?</strong></em></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>4. Negative visualization</strong></h2><p><strong>What is the value of &#8220;negative visualization&#8221; in a world that is obsessed with toxic positivity?</strong></p><p>Negative visualization sounds to many people like something really negative.</p><p>The phrase itself carries this feeling like it would be something bad.</p><p>When we look aside from how it sounds, we come to the fact that it&#8217;s a beneficial and realistic practice to do.</p><p>It&#8217;s not about not trusting yourself, or diminishing your dreams even before you started working on them.</p><p>No. It is understanding of how life works sometimes.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>We can make all the plans but the next day everything can be turned around because of something unexpected which we didn&#8217;t count on before.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>We aim to achieve big things, and we should, because human potential and capabilities are tremendously huge.</p><p>But at the same time, using negative visualization helps us be prepared for the worst.</p><p>It&#8217;s like calculated risk. I&#8217;m not going to jump off the cliff to the sea without checking the landing area, rocks, and depth of the water, or without other people&#8217;s tips on whether I&#8217;m going to kill myself with this jump.</p><p>In business you do business plans, competition analyses, and the rest.</p><p>You don&#8217;t go into a business which might be oversaturated in your region unless you have some competitive advantage.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>It&#8217;s thinking about the worst which allows us to see the best possible outcome too.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>There is no only black or only white.</p><p>There is black and white and other hundreds of colours, and life has them all prepared for you.</p><p><em><strong>Have you ever tried to use negative visualization to prepare yourself for something good?</strong></em></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>5. Excitement of a new project</strong></h2><p><strong>How do you keep going when the initial excitement of a new project fades away?</strong></p><p>I will remind myself why I started with it in the first place.</p><p>For me it&#8217;s especially hard to resist new &#8220;shiny objects.&#8221; They call it the shiny object syndrome.</p><p>Obviously I just gave myself this diagnosis on my own, but in recent years I noticed that I get extremely excited about new projects and opportunities.</p><p>What I want to do at that moment is to put everything else on the side and pour my entire being into this new thing.</p><p>I&#8217;m talking sitting on it for entire days, going to bed late because it&#8217;s almost impossible to stop myself from not doing it or working on it.</p><p>I&#8217;m basically obsessed the moment something excites me.</p><p>On one hand it is advantageous in many ways because it gives you this unlimited energy to pour there.</p><p>On the other hand it&#8217;s a devil&#8217;s loop.</p><p>It happened so many times that I didn&#8217;t finish what I started.</p><p>Sometimes because of work and other responsibilities.</p><p>Other times I actually had no time for it and didn&#8217;t even start at the end. Just invested money, prepared everything, but didn&#8217;t manage to start.</p><p>I&#8217;m trying to get much better at this, making more conscious decisions, and thinking more strategically before jumping into new projects. But at the same time I&#8217;m definitely still not the best.</p><p>That brings me to the question. </p><blockquote><p><em><strong>How do you keep going when the initial excitement of a new project fades away?</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>There are two options in my opinion.</p><p>First, you don&#8217;t. You pass the project to someone else, or you abandon it completely and move on to do something else.</p><p>This path is not always bad because there are most certainly projects which are not serving us and not bringing us anywhere.</p><p>But be careful to not just jump from one to another ending up not finishing anything.</p><p>Second, you remind yourself why you started in the first place.</p><p>Like me with this project of writing 100 words for 1000 days, hoping to build the writing habit that will lead to me being the author of a book one day.</p><p>There are going to be days when you want to quit, when you feel lazy, when everything else seems to be more important, when you travel, when you are tired, when you are sick.</p><p>Before I started this project I tried to remind myself of this fact many times.</p><p>I was trying to prepare myself that not every day is going to be filled with endless motivation of sitting behind a computer and pouring my heart into this keyboard.</p><p>But I know why I&#8217;m doing this and that single thought is the one which keeps me going.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Remind yourself why you started.</strong></em> </p></blockquote><p>What was the fire inside of you that felt so exciting that you couldn&#8217;t stop thinking about this project and then finally started? What is the achievement at the end of this quest?</p><p>This is your gasoline which you pour into your tank when you think you are running on empty.</p><p>Keep going. You got this.</p><p><em><strong>How do you feel with those moments when the excitement fades away?</strong></em></p><div class="captioned-button-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/the-choice-is-yours?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;}" data-component-name="CaptionedButtonToDOM"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption"><em>If this resonated with you, share it with one person who needs it today.</em></p></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/the-choice-is-yours?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/the-choice-is-yours?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p></div><h2><strong>6. Feeling proud</strong></h2><p><strong>What was the time you felt proud of yourself for a reason no one else saw?</strong></p><p>Let me answer first here.</p><p>I felt proud of myself many times.</p><p>It is definitely an important skill and technique to practice.</p><p>Times when I felt proud of myself for reasons no one else saw are the minor ones.</p><p>After a tough day, being proud of myself that I managed to get through.</p><p>After a hard workout when I wasn&#8217;t sure if I would make it, and I did it.</p><p>After tough conversations which I was nervous about but managed to do it.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>I believe that there are more moments to be proud of ourselves than we think.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>It&#8217;s not only about the big milestones. It is about the small every day wins which keep us going forward.</p><p>I&#8217;m especially guilty of being one of those overachievers who, when achieving something, basically just move on to another thing without proper acknowledgement.</p><p>It&#8217;s like saying: Well cool, I achieved it, what was the next thing on the list?</p><p>I&#8217;m trying to get better at noticing the smaller things more often and giving myself credit for achieving something.</p><p>Because as I said, it&#8217;s not always about the big milestones. It&#8217;s about the small every day wins that keep us going.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><em><strong>Celebrate the small things so you can celebrate the big things.</strong></em></p></div><p>And don&#8217;t forget to be proud of yourself during the journey, not only at the end of it.</p><p><em><strong>I would love to hear about a recent moment when you felt really proud of yourself.</strong></em></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>7. The Jersey lesson</strong></h2><p><strong>What is one failure you experienced that actually set you up for later success?</strong></p><p>Let me tell you one vulnerable story of mine.</p><p>Early in my 20s, right after graduating high school, I had an experience that influenced me greatly.</p><p>Back then, my dream was to become the best bartender in the world.</p><p>Not a small dream for a 20-year-old guy that just finished high school.</p><p>Me and my friend with the same dream found a job in the UK.</p><p>All we could think of was London and the epic cocktail culture there. It was a dream to land there one day and make my way to the top.</p><p>But back then we were not staying in London. We were heading south, to the small island called Jersey.</p><p>They have famous cows there, but that&#8217;s pretty much it.</p><p>We found a job in a bar where we wanted to get better at speaking English and kickstart our bartender careers.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>I had this huge vision for me, this master plan of how my life is going to go in the next 5 years. Step by step, everything was set.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Not that fast forward, it took less than a week to fly back home from there.</p><p>The job was nothing like promised over the interview. The apartment was kind of shit. And the owner tried to steal our passports and offer us work at his painting company to earn some money.</p><p>In one word, a terrible experience back then for young men trying to enter the world of adults.</p><p>Looking back on this experience, it ended up being a really great one because I learned a lot from it and very early on.</p><p>My dreams were not completely crushed, but reality hit hard.</p><p>My master plan had suddenly dissolved in the clouds of Jersey as the plane took off.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>I found myself back at my parents&#8217; house, questioning my life and what I&#8217;m supposed to do right now.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>This experience taught me that life will almost never go as we planned.</p><p>There are always going to be some bumps on the road, missed turns, blind streets, and other things making the ride through life not as smooth as you thought.</p><p>But that&#8217;s the beauty of the journey. If it wouldn&#8217;t be like this, you wouldn&#8217;t have stories to tell, you wouldn&#8217;t have experiences to learn from.</p><p>This experience was one of those that set me up for later success.</p><p>Not only in bartending but in life in general.</p><p>I didn&#8217;t become the best bartender in the world, nor the best bartender in my country, but I managed to compete against some of the best ones and ended up being in the top 5 during one of the World Class competitions in Slovakia.</p><p>It was and still is a big achievement for that part of me and my younger self which wanted to be the best at that craft.</p><p>To learn such a valuable lesson early on was life-changing for the rest of my 20s.</p><p>I learned how the real world out there really is sometimes. It is cruel and unforgiving, but at the same time it is beautiful and full of things and places to experience, and lessons to be learned so you can become the better version of yourself.</p><p><em><strong>What is your failure that set you up for later success?</strong></em></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/the-choice-is-yours/comments&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Leave a comment&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/the-choice-is-yours/comments"><span>Leave a comment</span></a></p><div><hr></div><p><em>I aim to deliver the most personal stories, insights, and lessons from real-world experiences I have lived through over the past decade. As I continue building my life and trying to be a better version of myself, I am documenting this journey and the lessons from my life for people who might need to hear them.</em></p><p><em><strong>- Luk&#225;&#353;</strong></em></p><div class="directMessage button" data-attrs="{&quot;userId&quot;:65219253,&quot;userName&quot;:&quot;Luk&#225;&#353; &#268;abaj&quot;,&quot;canDm&quot;:null,&quot;dmUpgradeOptions&quot;:null,&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}" data-component-name="DirectMessageToDOM"></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Hard Conversations]]></title><description><![CDATA[Day 13 - 19 / 1000]]></description><link>https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/the-hard-conversations-day-13-19</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/the-hard-conversations-day-13-19</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Lukáš Čabaj]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Fri, 27 Mar 2026 14:28:11 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7Ek0!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F531ad2c5-34d4-4c19-b268-2c0828613449.heic" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Most people are not afraid of hard situations.</p><p>They are afraid of what needs to be said inside them.</p><p>This week, I wrote about the conversations we keep avoiding, with others and with ourselves.</p><h2><em><strong>Here is what has been on my mind this week:</strong></em></h2><ol><li><p><em>The enemy of being respected.</em></p></li><li><p><em>How do you handle criticism?</em></p></li><li><p><em>Old standards that are no longer enough.</em></p></li><li><p>Boundaries.</p></li><li><p>The 5%.</p></li><li><p>If your 20s had a question.</p></li><li><p>What is the best way to apologize?</p></li></ol><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7Ek0!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F531ad2c5-34d4-4c19-b268-2c0828613449.heic" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7Ek0!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F531ad2c5-34d4-4c19-b268-2c0828613449.heic 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7Ek0!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F531ad2c5-34d4-4c19-b268-2c0828613449.heic 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7Ek0!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F531ad2c5-34d4-4c19-b268-2c0828613449.heic 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7Ek0!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F531ad2c5-34d4-4c19-b268-2c0828613449.heic 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7Ek0!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F531ad2c5-34d4-4c19-b268-2c0828613449.heic" width="690" height="919.842032967033" 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srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7Ek0!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F531ad2c5-34d4-4c19-b268-2c0828613449.heic 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7Ek0!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F531ad2c5-34d4-4c19-b268-2c0828613449.heic 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7Ek0!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F531ad2c5-34d4-4c19-b268-2c0828613449.heic 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7Ek0!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F531ad2c5-34d4-4c19-b268-2c0828613449.heic 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p></p><h2><strong>1. The enemy of being respected.</strong></h2><p><strong>Why is being &#8220;agreeable&#8221; often the enemy of being &#8220;respected&#8221;?</strong></p><p>You can&#8217;t be agreeable all the time. It is unrealistic to expect you to agree with everything, all the time.</p><p>You can ask yourself whether you would really be okay agreeing with everything. Probably not. And it is not going to appear only on special occasions; it is probably a daily scenario in which you don&#8217;t agree with everything that is happening around you.</p><p>Now imagine how it would feel if someone you know, let&#8217;s say a friend, agrees with everything you say.</p><p>At the beginning, it might be cool because you feel connected to this person and you understand each other very well. </p><p>But if it&#8217;s like that all the time, you are going to be losing respect for this friend or partner, because this person has no voice, no opinion, no self-worth, and no boundaries.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>With that said, if you want to be respected, you need to have your own opinion, your own stand on social topics, your take on issues, your boundaries, and you need to know your own worth in this world.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>If you haven&#8217;t grown up with this mindset being taught to you by your parents, as I did, you will need to find your own way to develop these skills.</p><p>It is sometimes uncomfortable and difficult, but it is necessary for building your own integrity and confidence in this world.</p><p>Remember this: you are not alone. </p><p>If you feel stuck or need help, just reach out to someone you trust. They will have your back in this.</p><p><em><strong>You got this.</strong></em></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>2. How do you handle criticism?</strong></h2><p><strong>How do you handle criticism from someone who has never built anything themselves?</strong></p><p>It always depends on what kind of criticism you receive. Just because someone hasn&#8217;t built anything themselves doesn&#8217;t mean that their criticism must be bad.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>We can always learn from failure and bad experiences.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>This person may be pointing out good areas for improvement in what we are building. It might be a matter of taste where this person has developed a particularly high-end taste, and therefore, the criticism is more like indirect advice.</p><p>But that was a good scenario.</p><p>We obviously have many people around us who don&#8217;t want any good for us. Their criticism is pure envy, hate, and insecurity about themselves.</p><p><strong>So what do we do with this type of criticism?</strong></p><p>We definitely do not take it personally. </p><p>Over the last couple of years, I've learned that there will always be people who dislike you, your work, or both. They are going to have lots of opinions on everything, and many of them won't always be positive.</p><p>What helped me handle this with peace of mind was shifting my mindset to see it as just their opinion. </p><blockquote><p><em><strong>It is just their bad day, bad mood, personal insecurity, fear, whatever. It has nothing to do with you, your work, or your worth as a human.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Ask yourself why you should even listen to this person.</p><p>What do they really know about the life vision you created for yourself? <strong>Nothing</strong>.</p><p>Don&#8217;t let strangers, colleagues, friends, or even family put you down. You know why you are doing what you are doing. Keep working towards those goals and dreams you have set for yourself.</p><p>If you feel lost, then go find your WHY first, and listen to yourself.</p><p>Don&#8217;t go and fulfill others' dreams. Spend time with your inner self to find where your next steps should lead and go after them.</p><p>No criticism should stop you from doing that, so trust the process and be better for yourself.</p><p><em><strong>How do you handle criticism yourself?</strong></em></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>3. Old standards that are no longer enough.</strong></h2><p><strong>What is one standard you held for yourself at 21 that is no longer enough for the person you are becoming today?</strong></p><p>Let me go first here.</p><p>One of the standards I thought would take me far was the idea that if everyone liked me, it would take me places.</p><p>It is not only not enough, but it is also an absolutely wrong standard to even have in the first place. </p><blockquote><p><em><strong>There is no reality in which everyone around us will like us.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Thinking this is setting yourself up against an unbeatable monster. You will never win this fight. I would recommend, based on my own experience, that it is not worth starting the fight in the first place.</p><p>Another standard I held when I was 21 was accepting drinking as part of society and culture. </p><p>I thought drinking just belongs to our culture, that it is perfectly acceptable when people drink on weekdays, on Sundays, during the day, whenever there is an opportunity.</p><p>I was working behind the bar back then. </p><p>I had access to all sorts of alcohol you can imagine, and I could try any of it. We were drinking on every shift. When I wasn't working, I would drink again because everything was more fun and less boring after a beer and a shot of bourbon.</p><p>This changed drastically over time.</p><p>I don&#8217;t judge others when they drink. You can do with your life whatever you want to do, but I decided to stop drinking completely.</p><p>It was, in fact, my first 1000-day challenge. And it is still ongoing while I write this.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Looking back on my 20s, it was one of, if not the single best decision I could have made in my life.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>If I were still holding to these standards today, I probably wouldn&#8217;t be writing this now.</p><p>I hope that you were able to identify and change your old standards too, and move closer towards the life you want without the useless baggage.</p><p><em><strong>I would love to hear what standards you changed in the last couple of years and how they transformed your journey.</strong></em></p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption"><em>If you found your way here for the first time, subscribe and stick around.</em></p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div><h2><strong>4. Boundaries</strong></h2><p><strong>How do you set a boundary with a person you love without closing your heart to them?</strong></p><p>There is only one proper way to set your boundary with a person you love without closing your heart to them.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Have an open conversation about everything.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>There is no indirect approach that would end up being more effective than actually speaking to this person directly and openly about everything. What is happening to you, what you feel, what behaviour of this person is crossing the line and so on.</p><p><strong>Trying to do it without conversation is the opposite of productive.</strong></p><p>We often think that if we keep doing this, or we keep showing that, the other person will understand it and change something on their own.</p><p>It will bring you only more frustration and stress. </p><p>It is the recipe for disaster, it&#8217;s like putting something in a pressure cooker and expecting it not to boil.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Do yourself, and the other person, a favor. Talk to each other about everything that is going on. Without expectations, just go into the conversation with a clean shield and open arms.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Remember, you are not going to fight this person, you just want to talk about what is going on inside of you. And if you meet with misunderstanding and misinterpretation from the other side, despite the fact that you did the best you could, it is not your fault.</p><p>They are just not ready for real conversations.</p><p><em><strong>Did you need to set any boundaries lately with your partner? If yes, let me know how it went.</strong></em></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>5. The 5%.</strong></h2><p><strong>What is a current &#8220;stressor&#8221; in your life?</strong></p><p>If you strip away everything you cannot control, what is the 5% that remains entirely in your power?</p><p>Let me be honest with you here and share part of my current story.</p><p>The current stressors in my life are mainly money and a career grey zone.</p><p><strong>All of this is within my control.</strong> That is something that you should understand as well. If you take actual ownership of your life, the perspective changes drastically.</p><p>I can control what I do to earn more money, or what career path I go further with. </p><blockquote><p><em><strong>It is not about stripping away stuff, it is about deciding what to do next with each of the stressors.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>I believe that we are often creating stressors in our life by ourselves.</p><p>There are plenty of things we can be stressed about in today&#8217;s world, and it takes a huge amount of energy and mindfulness to stay distanced from it. </p><p>The social pressure of achieving success was never higher than it is today. Social media is feeding us with the allure of overnight success and the idea that everyone can be successful at anything at any point.</p><p>Daily, we are hit in our feed by success stories of people from all around the world. </p><p>This startup was acquired for millions, this single entrepreneur sold his business for millions, this woman selling her online courses is making millions.</p><p>It&#8217;s millions everywhere.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>When this type of content is flowing in heaps on us every day, how can we not feel behind in our 20s? </strong></em></p></blockquote><p>That is a question each of us should ask ourselves.</p><p>I believe that the only way to stay sane is to actively plan time without phones and social media. I feel it in myself that I need more time off screens, more time to be bored again, and to become more creative and more mindful about my life.</p><p>I believe that <strong>the 5% that remains in my power</strong> to reduce the stressors of daily life is a more simple, minimalistic, and analog style of life. </p><p>This approach is much more sustainable long-term for one&#8217;s happiness than being drawn into the world of social media and high dopamine driven short form content.</p><p>It is hard, and it is going to be only harder going forward.</p><p>I&#8217;m not against technology or innovations, they are part of our life and they will be. I believe that it is important to stay up to date with today&#8217;s AI and everything else which is appearing at the speed of light these days.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>We are living in a beautiful age of endless opportunities.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>There was never a better time to be alive in human history than it is now. We have advanced healthcare systems that are increasing the lifespan of people and we went from horses to autonomous electric cars in a little over 100 years.</p><p>It&#8217;s all fascinating and I&#8217;m a really big fan of progress in society on all levels, not only technological.</p><p>But at the same time we face an attention span and dopamine crisis that is sucking energy out of us daily and creating artificial stress on our bodies and brains.</p><p>I would close this by saying be more mindful of how you spend your time.</p><p><em><strong>Is there any stressor in your life right now that feels out of control?</strong></em></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>6. If your 20s had a question.</strong></h2><p><strong>If your 20s had a question, what was it?</strong> </p><p>If I had a question in my 20s, it wouldn&#8217;t be one but two questions. </p><div class="pullquote"><p><em><strong>Who am I, and who do I want to become?</strong></em></p></div><p>These two questions were fundamental for me during the past years. I have been asking them very often, through a lot of the decisions I was making. Sometimes consciously, sometimes not.</p><p>One would say that it might sound like an existential crisis. Previously, I would agree. </p><p>Today, I believe that it is not a crisis, but a conscious way to navigate life.</p><p>I used to believe many things when I was younger.</p><p>I used to believe, especially, that life is more or less linear. </p><p>You choose your school, you graduate, you find a job, you find a partner, you find a house, you start a family, maybe you travel somewhere sometimes but you don&#8217;t leave your stable place and routine. </p><p>And that&#8217;s it. You have basically completed the checklist for life.</p><p>Now, you just keep going to work, take care of your family, and wait until retirement, just to find out that the pension for which you were working your whole life sucks and is often not enough to even cover basic needs.</p><p><strong>What do you do next?</strong> </p><p>You complain about the system, the government, you start questioning everything you did in life and end up kind of confused about what to do with the rest of your days.</p><p>This seemed to be life, the life that everyone was kind of going for. </p><p>It looks like stability, and it is a very much accepted way to live your life in society, you feel like you are part of it.</p><p>I&#8217;m not saying there is something wrong with this, if it is what you want. But I don&#8217;t believe this anymore.</p><p><strong>I believe that I can create the life that I really want. I can build a career or business that will bring me the freedom I seek, not constraints in life. I want to live up to my highest potential.</strong></p><p>I understand today that there is no limit in this world. We can do anything we want, with important caveats, but not everything.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Life is about the choices we make today that lead our life to better, or worse, in the future.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>So if I would have a new question for the last 1000 days of my 20s, it would be: How can I stay true to myself, not burn out, and build a life that is going to last for decades and bring me everything I want?</p><p>I&#8217;m trying really hard to get out of perfectionism and not get distracted by shiny objects, because these two are my biggest enemies, causing me to get stuck on things where there is no real return on investment.</p><p>It is a process of accepting, and healthy self-development.</p><p>It is about doing more of what matters, not just more for the sake of doing more and thinking that will bring more results.</p><p><em><strong>What is your question?</strong></em></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>7. What is the best way to apologize?</strong></h2><p><strong>What is the best way to apologize when you have actually messed up?</strong></p><p>I think that for young people it can be hard sometimes to accept their own failure, or mistakes. It takes courage to face the fact that we have messed something up.</p><p>We tend to think that we are always doing the right things. It might even feel like that, but sometimes only to us alone.</p><p>When you have messed up, you should accept that, and you should apologize for it. It&#8217;s not a weakness, it is the opposite. It&#8217;s a sign of growing maturity in you. It is the responsibility of an adult to own our mistakes.</p><p>Is there a best way to apologize to someone?</p><p>Probably not. There are thousands of different situations and billions of different people, and each one of them can react differently to each situation. So, read the room a bit.</p><p>Your apology in the heat will not land well. Let some time pass so the other person can cool down a bit as well. Then approach it with a sincere touch. Don&#8217;t fake it, don&#8217;t try to make yourself the victim, don&#8217;t blame everything else, say the truth.</p><p>Accept your mistake first, and then apologize for it.</p><p>There is one important thing to keep in mind here. Don&#8217;t expect the other person to accept your apology straight away.</p><p>You might have hurt someone very deeply and this person might never forgive you for that. All of us are a bit different, with different values.</p><p>For some, the apology is all they want to move on and be friends with you again. For others, even revenge might not be enough to cure their bitter taste towards you.</p><p>Don&#8217;t focus on the response from the other person. Focus on your part, apologizing for your mistakes, so you can move on in your life first.</p><p>You are also not responsible for other people&#8217;s feelings. You can do your best, but the way a person is going to react and feel is out of your control.</p><p>Don&#8217;t try to force anyone into any feeling because that&#8217;s not your job to do, and frankly, it&#8217;s also not really possible.</p><p><em><strong>How does it make you feel when you need to apologize to someone?</strong></em></p><p></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/the-hard-conversations-day-13-19/comments&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Leave a comment&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/the-hard-conversations-day-13-19/comments"><span>Leave a comment</span></a></p><div><hr></div><div class="captioned-button-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/the-hard-conversations-day-13-19?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;}" data-component-name="CaptionedButtonToDOM"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption"><em>If this resonated with you, share it with one person who needs it today.</em></p></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/the-hard-conversations-day-13-19?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/the-hard-conversations-day-13-19?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p></div><div><hr></div><p><em>I aim to deliver the most personal stories, insights, and lessons from real-world experiences I have lived through over the past decade. As I continue building my life and trying to be a better version of myself, I am documenting this journey and the lessons from my life for people who might need to hear them.</em></p><p><em><strong>- Luk&#225;&#353;</strong></em></p><div class="directMessage button" data-attrs="{&quot;userId&quot;:65219253,&quot;userName&quot;:&quot;Luk&#225;&#353; &#268;abaj&quot;,&quot;canDm&quot;:null,&quot;dmUpgradeOptions&quot;:null,&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}" data-component-name="DirectMessageToDOM"></div><p></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[What Remains ]]></title><description><![CDATA[Day 6 - 12 / 1000]]></description><link>https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/what-remains-day-6-12</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/what-remains-day-6-12</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Lukáš Čabaj]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Thu, 19 Mar 2026 10:40:47 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!0sW2!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f233e7d-fd2a-49f8-88c7-a81f4b2e4c20_3000x4000.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Most of us are living by definitions we never actually chose for ourselves.</p><p>What success looks like. What confidence really is. What passion is supposed to feel like. Who deserves a place in your life.</p><p>This week, I am questioning all of it.</p><h2>What has been on my mind this week:</h2><ol><li><p><em>Confidence vs. Ego</em></p></li><li><p><em>What is left of you that is valuable?</em></p></li><li><p><em>What is the lie about &#8220;passion&#8221;?</em></p></li><li><p><em>The gap between your taste and your current skill</em></p></li><li><p><em>What is the role of boredom?</em></p></li><li><p><em>Quitting</em></p></li><li><p><em>What is the most underrated trait to look for in a friend?</em></p></li></ol><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!0sW2!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f233e7d-fd2a-49f8-88c7-a81f4b2e4c20_3000x4000.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!0sW2!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f233e7d-fd2a-49f8-88c7-a81f4b2e4c20_3000x4000.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!0sW2!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f233e7d-fd2a-49f8-88c7-a81f4b2e4c20_3000x4000.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!0sW2!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f233e7d-fd2a-49f8-88c7-a81f4b2e4c20_3000x4000.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!0sW2!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f233e7d-fd2a-49f8-88c7-a81f4b2e4c20_3000x4000.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!0sW2!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f233e7d-fd2a-49f8-88c7-a81f4b2e4c20_3000x4000.jpeg" width="1456" height="1941" 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srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!0sW2!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f233e7d-fd2a-49f8-88c7-a81f4b2e4c20_3000x4000.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!0sW2!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f233e7d-fd2a-49f8-88c7-a81f4b2e4c20_3000x4000.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!0sW2!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f233e7d-fd2a-49f8-88c7-a81f4b2e4c20_3000x4000.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!0sW2!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f233e7d-fd2a-49f8-88c7-a81f4b2e4c20_3000x4000.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><h2><strong>1. Confidence vs. Ego</strong></h2><p><strong>How can a young person spot the difference in themselves?</strong></p><p>There is a thin line between confidence and ego.</p><p>Sometimes it is hard to distinguish which is which.</p><p>From my perspective, confidence is like a feedback loop. After we have done something enough times and gathered some data from it, we become confident in that particular thing because we proved to ourselves that we are capable of doing it over and over. We can also have confidence in ourselves without that feedback loop, but this is the point where things might get blurry and hard to differentiate between confidence and ego sometimes.</p><p>A person can believe in themselves, and therefore be confident even before starting the task. In this case it is more like hope in one&#8217;s own capabilities, either gained from a previous experience, or just naturally believing that if the last task was managed, why would this one be any different.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>It is often necessary to have confidence, or hope, before starting something, because otherwise we wouldn&#8217;t try anything new.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>If I had to define confidence, I would define it as self-belief and hope for things to go the right way and in our favor. This creates positive thoughts which help overcome the challenge, support us during hard times, and push us through to make it to the end.</p><p>Ego, on the other hand, is often labeled as something negative. Especially when thinking about egotistical people who can&#8217;t behave in society, are rude, disrespectful, and the worst combination of all is when these people happen to be rich and famous as well.</p><p>I&#8217;m not surprised that we give ego such a negative label. But ego in its nature is neither good nor bad, and we all have it.</p><p>Everyone, to some extent, is comparing themselves to someone else, bragging about something, proclaiming things, and thinking they are better than others. Especially in Western society, it is a big part of culture to do so.</p><p>So what is the difference between confidence and ego?</p><p>I would describe it this way.</p><p>Confidence is built and gained over time from our own experience. Ego is empty, self-promoting, and often misleading behavior that is not always backed by real results or experiences from one&#8217;s own life.</p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>2. What is left of you that is valuable?</strong></h2><p><strong>If you stripped away your job title and your hobbies, what is left of you that is valuable?</strong></p><div class="pullquote"><p><em><strong>Everything.</strong></em></p></div><p>Job title, hobbies, friend groups, or family members don&#8217;t define whether I&#8217;m valuable. Every person on this planet has value from the moment they are born. Philosophers and scientists say that the chance of even being born as a human is extraordinary, roughly 1 in 4 trillion. The very fact that we are all here today is a miracle. Yet, we often tie our value to something external that we don&#8217;t control.</p><p>Take the job title. We identify with our job titles so deeply that when we lose our jobs, some of us become paralyzed, depressed, or even lose touch with ourselves.</p><p>The same counts for hobbies. We might get injured and lose the ability to engage in our favorite activities. We feel we have lost our value because we can no longer do what always defined us.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>I want you to remember this. You are valuable by nature. You are enough as you are, without any change to the inside or the outside.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>We often get dragged down by the opinions of others, by someone else having a bad day and telling us something that hurts, or putting expectations on us which are not ours but theirs.</p><p>We are meant to learn, grow, build, and aim for higher things, but that doesn&#8217;t mean your value is out there to be achieved.</p><p>You are valuable every minute of your life.</p><p><em><strong>So don&#8217;t forget that. Be better for yourself and know your worth.</strong></em></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>3. What is the lie about &#8220;passion&#8221;?</strong></h2><p><strong>What is the lie about &#8220;passion&#8221; that young professionals need to stop believing?</strong></p><p>Passion doesn&#8217;t come first.</p><p>We were told that we should follow our passion and find work that resonates with that. But how can we know that something is our passion without spending enough time doing it, examining it, trying different angles of it, and last but not least, asking ourselves if this is something that has passion potential?</p><p>I believed this myth for a very long time myself. I wanted to follow my passion and do work that was seamlessly intertwined with it. Well, I found out that the work I thought was going to be my passion wasn&#8217;t it. It didn&#8217;t happen just once but multiple times, and the lesson was kind of the same.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>What I learned from my past experiences is that we need to go and try things to see if we like them so much that we can see ourselves there long-term, if it feels like a game instead of work, if we are looking forward to going there every day or only on Fridays because of the Swedish tables for lunch.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>It is necessary for young professionals, including myself, to learn from this and stop believing the myth that passion is going to appear just like that in our heads with the first choice of work.</p><p>The same principle goes for hobbies as well. How can you know if you love boxing if you have never trained? How can you know if you love mountain biking if you have never gone on a ride and don&#8217;t even own such a bike?</p><p>You said your passion is art. What does it mean? Do you go to galleries every week, do you study art on your own, do you paint at home every spare moment you can find, or does it just sound cool and sophisticated to look at old paintings while you have no idea what you are supposed to do there with your time and your own thoughts?</p><p>On the other hand, to be transparent, passion doesn&#8217;t have a universal formula or explanation.</p><p>My passion for basketball can be that I just love to shoot a ball in the backyard. Your passion for basketball can be that you watch every match of the NBA season, know the performance of all the players of your favorite team, and have an NBA jersey framed on the wall of your living room.</p><p>We can both say we are passionate about basketball, but our definition of passion is fundamentally different.</p><p>Or is it passion at all, in the end?</p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption"><em><strong>If you found your way here for the first time, subscribe and stick around.</strong></em></p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div><h2><strong>4. The gap between your taste and your current skill</strong></h2><p><strong>How should a young person handle the gap between their taste (what they like) and their current skill (what they can create)?</strong></p><p>This is a question I would like to find an answer to myself. I feel that my taste is up to date, that I have a feel for design, but my skills are not yet good enough for me to create such things myself.</p><p>Let&#8217;s deconstruct this together.</p><p>Despite the fact that I don&#8217;t know the answer, my hypothesis is simple and rooted in logic.</p><p>Keep working on those skills and you will bridge the gap. Having taste is one thing, but having actual skills that take whatever is in the mind and bring it to life is another. No one magically went from being a beginner to being a pro in one evening session of watching YouTube tutorials.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>To master anything, it takes a heap of time.</strong></em> </p></blockquote><p>You need to be willing to invest that time to develop those skills so you can bridge the gap between taste and actual delivery. Or, if you have money and that particular skill is something you don&#8217;t need personally in the long-term, you can always just pay someone skilled in that industry to bring your ideas to life.</p><p>But speaking of actual skill you want to have in the future, I believe that the only way to master it is to spend time learning, trying, failing, and going beyond that.</p><p>Find a mentor, ask your favorite creator, test things yourself.</p><p>All of this, the whole journey from where you are now to where you want to be, is just patience, time, and actual work invested in what you want.</p><p><em><strong>Where is your current gap?</strong></em></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>5. What is the role of boredom?</strong></h2><p><strong>What is the role of boredom in a high-performance life, and why should we stop running from it?</strong></p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Boredom is our gateway drug that we forgot we have access to.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Stoics in Greece, Romans, and many others from a couple of thousand years ago saw boredom as something beneficial for humans. The fact is that they didn&#8217;t even know that what they were experiencing was boredom. They were deep thinkers, and boredom was a time when they would think about life, think about the next steps, think about philosophy, think about strategy, think about creative acts.</p><p>Some of the most unique human creations were born from boredom.</p><p>In today&#8217;s world, it is increasingly hard to be bored because of all the media and devices surrounding us constantly at every moment of our daily lives. Today&#8217;s role of boredom is like a gateway drug, with the small note that it should be used more often and by everyone.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Boredom brings clarity to our minds without outside stimulation. Boredom gives us time to look inside ourselves for answers to our questions.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>In a high-performance life, it is the key to staying at the same level and moving to the next one. We should stop running from it because it is the only way to stay connected to ourselves. Not only when we are making big decisions, but often enough for our own sanity of mind.</p><p>Boredom also doesn&#8217;t need to be boring.</p><p>Use the time to go for a walk in nature, without music, without your phone. Just you, your own thoughts, and the nature around you. It is increasingly important to find moments like these in our everyday lives, because otherwise we will be slowly but certainly eaten alive by the amount of media coming our way if we don&#8217;t learn how to regulate it and how to regulate ourselves.</p><p><strong>So, go and be bored.</strong></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>6. Quitting</strong></h2><p><strong>When is &#8220;quitting&#8221; a sign of intelligence rather than a sign of weakness?</strong></p><p>Quitting is a sign of intelligence when you leave behind something that isn&#8217;t serving you anymore in any way. A job that only stresses you, doesn&#8217;t pay you enough for your value, and whose colleagues suck, is a job that is asking to be quit.</p><p>People often fear quitting. They feel insecure about their life and next steps. Despite the fact that their job is bad and they hate it, they stay there and convince themselves that it is not so bad, just so they don&#8217;t have to quit. Rather, they stay and keep suffering and wasting time on something absolutely not worth their time and effort.</p><p>Quitting not only a job, but also relationships, deals, collaborations, even family, is completely fine when we understand the circumstances and nature of these situations and relationships.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Every one of us can be happy and deserves to be happy, but you are the one behind the steering wheel, not anyone else.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>On the other hand, there are many weak people who quit way too fast and for the wrong reasons. If you haven&#8217;t invested any effort to solve things first and you&#8217;re heading straight to quitting, then it is weakness driving that decision, not intelligence.</p><p>If you give up too quickly and without reason on people just because of small things and without a proper try first, that is weakness too.</p><p>Don&#8217;t mix quitting with weakness. It can be the best thing you can do for your life. In the right situation and at the right time, it is intelligent to do so and you should go after it.</p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>7. What is the most underrated trait to look for in a friend?</strong></h2><p><strong>What is the most underrated trait to look for in a friend or business partner?</strong></p><p>We all know the story.</p><p>When we are growing up and during our school years, most of us have a lot of friends. There is almost always someone to go out with, go for a coffee, or just hang out and play video games or something. We don&#8217;t really look intellectually at this friend and examine them in a way that considers all of their potential flaws, bad habits, and in the worst case, bad influence on us.</p><p>We have something in common. We can hang out with them, so we just do it. We are also at an early age where we haven&#8217;t yet experienced much of the bad side of the world.</p><p>Everything changes once we finish school and leave home to go live the adult life we had been waiting for so long.</p><p>As we get our first jobs, meet new colleagues who aren&#8217;t all our age, and have neighbours, things start to feel different. People hurt us, they are mean to us, they betray us. Suddenly, we feel we can&#8217;t trust anyone just like that anymore. Life connections become transactional and strategic. We choose more carefully with whom we spend our time, the topics we discuss, and how deep we let others see into us during these conversations.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>We are connecting, in a certain way, to our hunter-gatherer instincts. We are looking for the right people to build our tribe with.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>The trait to look for in a friend is, first and foremost, loyalty and truth-telling.</p><p>We want to spend time and build relationships with someone who is willing to invest their time into us the same way as we are willing to invest our time into them. We don&#8217;t want to be building tribes or friendships with someone who is always late, or always has excuses for why they can&#8217;t show up, or with someone who is using us only for their own gain, or someone who is always lying to us about all sorts of things, or someone who is always talking about others behind their back.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Long-lasting friendships are built on the ability to open up to each other about our deepest thoughts, fears, and joys.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>It is about traits that allow us to build stronger bonds with others, and allow us to be who we really are without masks or barriers.</p><div class="pullquote"><p>We want to feel heard, understood, and to have a sense of belonging. This makes us stronger together with these individuals, which would then lead to building long-term partnerships and collaborations that, over time, build a community of like-minded people and finally tribes that can not only survive but thrive together.</p></div><p>A similar principle applies to business partners.</p><p>We want to be able to fully trust this person, know who this person is, what to expect in hard times, and share the same long-term vision for the future.</p><p>Without this, the business will break. The adrenaline from the beginning, where everything was about this beautiful vision, eventually turns into stress and problems. And if those aren&#8217;t solved efficiently and with calmness, the business will go down, and the relationship with this person most probably too.</p><p><em><strong>What trait in friendships is the most underrated for you?</strong></em></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/what-remains-day-6-12/comments&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Leave a comment&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/what-remains-day-6-12/comments"><span>Leave a comment</span></a></p><div><hr></div><div class="captioned-button-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/what-remains-day-6-12?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;}" data-component-name="CaptionedButtonToDOM"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption"><em>If this resonated with you, share it with one person who needs it today.</em></p></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/what-remains-day-6-12?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/what-remains-day-6-12?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p></div><div><hr></div><p><em>I aim to deliver the most personal stories, insights, and lessons from real-world experiences I have lived through over more than a decade. As I continue building my life and trying to be a better version of myself, I am documenting this journey and the lessons from my life for people who might need to hear them.</em></p><p><em><strong>- Luk&#225;&#353;</strong></em></p><p></p><p></p><p></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Re-defining Life's Standards]]></title><description><![CDATA[Day 1-5 / 1000]]></description><link>https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/re-defining-lifes-standards-day-1-5</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/re-defining-lifes-standards-day-1-5</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Lukáš Čabaj]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Fri, 13 Feb 2026 18:15:22 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hDxR!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff581d92a-d1ae-4683-8513-f7f3f86a39e7_2647x1536.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<h1>Let me ask you something: </h1><h1>Are you living your life, or are you living the life you think you&#8217;re supposed to live?</h1><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hDxR!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff581d92a-d1ae-4683-8513-f7f3f86a39e7_2647x1536.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hDxR!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff581d92a-d1ae-4683-8513-f7f3f86a39e7_2647x1536.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hDxR!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff581d92a-d1ae-4683-8513-f7f3f86a39e7_2647x1536.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hDxR!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff581d92a-d1ae-4683-8513-f7f3f86a39e7_2647x1536.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hDxR!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff581d92a-d1ae-4683-8513-f7f3f86a39e7_2647x1536.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hDxR!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff581d92a-d1ae-4683-8513-f7f3f86a39e7_2647x1536.png" width="728" height="422.4435209671326" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/f581d92a-d1ae-4683-8513-f7f3f86a39e7_2647x1536.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:false,&quot;imageSize&quot;:&quot;normal&quot;,&quot;height&quot;:1536,&quot;width&quot;:2647,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:728,&quot;bytes&quot;:7924291,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://lukascabaj.substack.com/i/187867821?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F970d44f3-66b2-49ae-a07a-fea850d82021_2816x1536.png&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:&quot;center&quot;,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hDxR!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff581d92a-d1ae-4683-8513-f7f3f86a39e7_2647x1536.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hDxR!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff581d92a-d1ae-4683-8513-f7f3f86a39e7_2647x1536.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hDxR!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff581d92a-d1ae-4683-8513-f7f3f86a39e7_2647x1536.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hDxR!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff581d92a-d1ae-4683-8513-f7f3f86a39e7_2647x1536.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p><strong>Because there&#8217;s a massive difference.</strong></p><p>This week I&#8217;m sharing <strong>five lessons</strong> from my 20s that changed how I see success, relationships, and what it actually means to &#8220;make it.&#8221; Some of them hurt to write. All of them needed to be said.</p><p>If you&#8217;ve ever felt like you&#8217;re following someone else&#8217;s rulebook for your own life, keep reading.</p><h2>This week's lessons:</h2><ol><li><p><em><strong>Are we really adults?</strong></em></p></li><li><p><em><strong>Re-defining success in life.</strong></em></p></li><li><p><em><strong>The limiting belief I once held.</strong></em></p></li><li><p><em><strong>Are we fitting in or belonging there?</strong></em></p></li><li><p><em><strong>The single most dangerous distraction for a young person.</strong></em></p></li></ol><div><hr></div><h2><strong>1. Are we really adults?</strong></h2><p>Let me ask you this: <strong>If you could give your younger self one rule to filter every major decision through, what would it be and why?</strong></p><p>Over the past couple of years, I realized something in retrospect.</p><p>When making major decisions like <strong>where</strong> I want to move, <strong>who</strong> I choose to love and be in a relationship with, <strong>what</strong> career path I want to pursue, or even what friends I want to keep in my life, all of these decisions were not made in the same way.</p><p>They were also not made in the same moment, but over a lifetime, and in different situations and parts of my life in my 20s.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>My rule here is:</strong> trust your instincts, shaped by past experiences, learned lessons, and your gut feeling.</em></p></blockquote><p>It&#8217;s easier said than done.</p><p>In our 20s, we just think we are adults because of the number on our age, and because society tells us we are so after we reach this or that age.</p><p>The <strong>opposite</strong> is true.</p><p>You don&#8217;t just happen to become an adult overnight by turning 21.</p><p>You need to live to get more experience under your belt. </p><blockquote><p><em>You need to go through those <strong>hard, unexpected life situations</strong> that our teachers never taught us in school, and learn from them on your own to avoid getting hurt or disappointed next time.</em></p></blockquote><p>I once heard it on a podcast: our 20s are the toughest decade of our lives, and it struck me because it just makes sense.</p><p>We live for the very first time on our own, we can do whatever we want, we make all the major decisions but also need to carry the uncertainty and pressure of learning how to actually live a life and not be dependent on anyone else except us.</p><p><em><strong>What is the rule you would give your younger self?</strong></em></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>2. Re-defining success in life.</strong></h2><p><strong>How do we define &#8220;success&#8221; without using the words money, fame, or status in our 20s?</strong></p><p>I believe that success is determined by our <strong>minds</strong>.</p><p>Each individual defines their own success metric.</p><p>Today&#8217;s <strong>society</strong>, and a world full of social media, is serving us that success is defined by money, fame, or status. To a certain point, it is true, but it&#8217;s not the only metric to use.</p><p><strong>Money</strong> gives us freedom to choose what we want to do, when we want to do it, with whom we want to do it, and on what conditions we want to do it. It is indeed a powerful feeling to be able to decide on almost everything thanks to money.</p><p><strong>Fame</strong> is a false feeling of power. It can disappear the same way it appeared. Fast. If one builds their identity around fame, they&#8217;re set to fail sooner or later.</p><p><strong>Status</strong> is the old-world metric for success. Everything was based on status in society, in small towns, or in tribes. </p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Without status, there was no success. Status could get people everywhere, simply because of the connections it brought.</strong></em> </p></blockquote><p>It is still powerful today, of course, but status doesn&#8217;t play that big of a role anymore.</p><p>I think that people are <strong>slowly</strong> discovering the real truth behind success.</p><p>Success comes from within us and from our own mental models.</p><p>For some people, success can mean having a stable job, being able to pay bills, feed the family, and occasionally go on vacation.</p><p>For others, it&#8217;s a private jet and a yacht.</p><p>And for a few others, it&#8217;s making a change in the world.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Success is not universal; everyone defines it differently.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>For me, the definition of success means <strong>three</strong> things.</p><p><strong>First</strong>, I want to have a happy <strong>family</strong> and people around me that I can share a life with. There is nothing more beautiful in this world than having a <strong>community</strong> around you and <strong>friendships</strong> with the right people.</p><p><strong>Second</strong> is freedom. I want to be able to do many things in my life without constraints, lack of time, or lack of money. I don&#8217;t chase fame or status. I want respect, yes, but I don&#8217;t need to be recognized on the streets.</p><p><strong>Third</strong>, I want to help people become a better version of themselves, and that is how I would define success.</p><p><em><strong>I would love to hear from you how you define success in your life.</strong></em></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>3. The limiting belief I once held.</strong></h2><p>We all possess some limiting beliefs.</p><p>Each one of us has some, but the question is: <strong>how can you even spot the limit of belief, and who and what defines it as limiting and not true, and everyone else is wrong on this one?</strong></p><p>It is hard because we take on all sorts of beliefs from our parents as we grow up, and then it is friends, who bring their beliefs, injected into them by their parents.</p><p>I <strong>struggle</strong> to find a limiting belief that I already identified and changed.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>But one of them is to believe something that has been said to you, and you have identified with it.</strong></em> </p></blockquote><p>It&#8217;s almost like the old saying that just because you weren&#8217;t good at math in school, you&#8217;re not good at math in general.</p><p>This dysfunctional belief stayed with me for a very long time, even though I was good at math in primary school. Everything changed once I hit high school.</p><p>Was it the teacher? Was it the subject? Who knows.</p><p>The <strong>important</strong> part is that you aren&#8217;t bad at math or any other subject; it is purely your own <strong>self-talk</strong> that is convincing you of that.</p><p>Maybe the teacher, classmates, or even parents told you that you are not good at it, and because you heard it repeatedly over and over, you adopted this belief as your reality.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>The fact is, if you would really like to be good at math, you can just study more, practice more, and eventually you are going to be more than able to solve the equations that now seem to be alien to you.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>The same rule applies to almost everything.</p><p>Just because you were not picked first at sport class doesn&#8217;t mean you are the worst.</p><p>I was picked last in school repeatedly, and it stuck with me for a while that I might suck at it. <strong>Until I practiced more and more in my free time.</strong></p><p>Suddenly, I wasn&#8217;t picked last. </p><p>I was given the trust that I&#8217;m better now, and it didn&#8217;t happen <strong>overnight</strong>. It didn&#8217;t happen just because my friend was picking the team; it happened because of my practice.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Practice makes you better at whatever you do in your life repeatedly; it becomes muscle memory, and you will start noticing you are getting better and better.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p><em><strong>What is the limiting belief you still hold?</strong></em></p><p><em><strong>How hard was it for you to identify this belief?</strong></em></p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption"><em>If you found your way here for the first time, subscribe and stick around.</em></p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div><h2><strong>4. Are we fitting in or belonging there?</strong></h2><p><strong>What is the difference between &#8220;fitting in&#8221; and &#8220;belonging&#8221;? Why does chasing one often cost you the other?</strong></p><p>I see two <strong>fundamental</strong> differences between fitting in and belonging somewhere.</p><p>You can move abroad, change friend groups, school, or job.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>When you fit in, some of your qualities and parts of your personality align with your surroundings. You can more easily blend in.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>You will probably make some friends, you will find some common topics to talk about with people around you, and you might also meet some opinions with which you will also agree.</p><p>But all of this doesn&#8217;t mean you <strong>belong</strong> there.</p><p>Fitting in is a temporary state that is tied to a special outcome, situation, place, or group of people. </p><p>Like friend groups, for example.</p><p>You are <strong>fitting in</strong> because you all like basketball and hip-hop music. You share interests and opinions, but you are not really into alcohol, parties, and drugs.</p><p>You fit in because you can talk about the same topics, but you don&#8217;t belong there because once you start doing things that you fundamentally don&#8217;t want to do, but you do it because of the friend group; it&#8217;s not your friend group anymore, and you should find new friends.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Belonging somewhere, on the other side, is a completely different story.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>You have a <strong>deeper</strong> feeling inside of you. You feel like everything would be <strong>aligned</strong> with these people, with this place, or work.</p><p>It&#8217;s not only about the activities or conversations; it is about the fact that you feel <strong>yourself</strong> where you are and with who you are there.</p><p>The feeling of belonging somewhere brings calm, confidence, trust, and energy to grow further in your life.</p><p>Those moments of belonging are very <strong>unique</strong> because we can&#8217;t simulate them. When it happens, you will <strong>know</strong>.</p><p><em><strong>When was the last time you felt that you really belonged somewhere?</strong></em></p><div><hr></div><h2><strong>5. The single most dangerous distraction for a young person.</strong></h2><p><strong>What is the single most dangerous distraction for a young person trying to build something meaningful?</strong></p><p>There is no single distraction that can be crowned the most dangerous.</p><p>I believe many common distractions can be <strong>overwhelming</strong> for young people trying to build something.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Especially in the 20s, there are so many things around us that are trying to distract us.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>For a young person in their 20s, it is also quite difficult to notice this because it is, indeed, the first decade of a young person&#8217;s life that you live fully. But that also means there is so much new stuff to try and experience, which can be distracting.</p><p>I think that person actually should try different things out because, without that, it is hard to learn what is good and what is bad.</p><p>I used to drink alcohol, do some crazy stuff, and go to parties.</p><p>All of these are dangerous distractions that I would name straight away, holding young people back from achieving more and building something meaningful.</p><p>But if I didn&#8217;t live through it, I don&#8217;t know if I would have the experience and knowledge to be able to focus on other things.</p><p>At the same time, I&#8217;m not trying to advertise that young people should try alcohol and drugs to learn that it is not the perfect way to spend life, because there are many young people who already know that they are not missing out by leaving all of these things off the table.</p><p>Yet many still believe the <strong>opposite</strong>.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>The thing is, I believe that it&#8217;s not so important to focus on the distractions, but to focus on what&#8217;s actually moving the needle in the direction we want to go.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>Young people, and not only they, should spend a significant amount of time during their 20s trying different things out to find a way to understand <strong>themselves</strong> better and find what they want to do with the rest of their lives.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>The 20s are basically the launchpad for the rest of our lives. It&#8217;s like life on a discount.</strong></em></p></blockquote><p>We have <strong>time</strong> to try, fail, learn, and go again without paying too steep a price for our mistakes or bad experiences.</p><p>When we invest this time in truly learning about ourselves, we gain a significant advantage in the future: the ability to be true to ourselves and do what we truly desire over the long term.</p><p><em><strong>What do you think is the most dangerous distraction for a young person?</strong></em></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/re-defining-lifes-standards-day-1-5/comments&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Leave a comment&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/re-defining-lifes-standards-day-1-5/comments"><span>Leave a comment</span></a></p><div><hr></div><div class="captioned-button-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/re-defining-lifes-standards-day-1-5?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;}" data-component-name="CaptionedButtonToDOM"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption"><em>If this resonated with you, share it with one person who needs it today.</em></p></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/re-defining-lifes-standards-day-1-5?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/re-defining-lifes-standards-day-1-5?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p></div><div><hr></div><p><em>I aim to deliver the most personal stories, insights, and lessons from real-world experiences I have lived through over more than a decade. As I continue building my life and trying to be a better version of myself, I am documenting this journey and the lessons from my life for people who might need to hear them.</em></p><p><em><strong>- Luk&#225;&#353;</strong></em></p><p></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[How can you do more without burning out?]]></title><description><![CDATA[Day 0 / 1000]]></description><link>https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/how-can-you-do-more-without-burning</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/p/how-can-you-do-more-without-burning</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Lukáš Čabaj]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Tue, 03 Feb 2026 07:25:36 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!TzkM!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7b50ff9d-d531-47bd-a6be-5f0f1b37aba0_1021x833.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>How can I do more without burning out?</strong></p><p>I&#8217;ve been asking <strong>myself</strong> this question for the past couple of months.</p><p>It feels like being constantly on the <strong>crossroads</strong> between wanting to achieve more and not wanting to burn myself to the point where I can&#8217;t do anything anymore.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!TzkM!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7b50ff9d-d531-47bd-a6be-5f0f1b37aba0_1021x833.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!TzkM!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7b50ff9d-d531-47bd-a6be-5f0f1b37aba0_1021x833.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!TzkM!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7b50ff9d-d531-47bd-a6be-5f0f1b37aba0_1021x833.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!TzkM!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7b50ff9d-d531-47bd-a6be-5f0f1b37aba0_1021x833.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!TzkM!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7b50ff9d-d531-47bd-a6be-5f0f1b37aba0_1021x833.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!TzkM!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7b50ff9d-d531-47bd-a6be-5f0f1b37aba0_1021x833.png" width="1021" height="833" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/7b50ff9d-d531-47bd-a6be-5f0f1b37aba0_1021x833.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:833,&quot;width&quot;:1021,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:532572,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://lukascabaj.substack.com/i/186709265?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7b50ff9d-d531-47bd-a6be-5f0f1b37aba0_1021x833.png&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!TzkM!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7b50ff9d-d531-47bd-a6be-5f0f1b37aba0_1021x833.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!TzkM!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7b50ff9d-d531-47bd-a6be-5f0f1b37aba0_1021x833.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!TzkM!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7b50ff9d-d531-47bd-a6be-5f0f1b37aba0_1021x833.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!TzkM!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7b50ff9d-d531-47bd-a6be-5f0f1b37aba0_1021x833.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>And, I don&#8217;t have an <strong>answer</strong> to this question yet. I&#8217;m still trying to <strong>figure</strong> it out on my own, too.</p><p>But here is my <strong>hypothesis</strong> about how I think it can be achieved.</p><p>It always starts with <strong>WHY</strong>. If you don&#8217;t know why you are doing what you are doing or why you want to achieve what you want to achieve, it&#8217;s extremely hard to move even one step forward at a time.</p><p>Once we have our why, we can focus on representing our <strong>WHAT</strong>.</p><p>What is the <strong>outcome</strong> we want to achieve? What is the <strong>destination</strong> where we want to arrive?</p><p>This makes our <strong>achievement</strong> more tangible, something our mind can more easily grasp.</p><p>The next step is the <strong>PLAN</strong>. We tend to create our plans chronologically from today&#8217;s standpoint.</p><p>In this case, we want to <strong>reverse engineer</strong> it.</p><p>Here is where your imagination comes into play, connecting your <strong>WHY</strong> and your <strong>WHAT</strong> into something that exists in 10 years&#8217; time.</p><p>From there, we will <strong>break it down</strong> into 5 years, 3 years, 1 year, 6 months, 3 months, 4 weeks, this week, and <strong>today</strong>.</p><p>Now we are facing the <strong>last</strong> question. </p><p><strong>What can I do today to get myself closer to where I want to be in 10 years&#8217; time?</strong></p><p>Think small, think 1% better every day. Put the bar of expectations lower than you originally wanted.</p><p><strong>Why?</strong> Because you are starting from zero.</p><p>Don&#8217;t <strong>compare</strong> yourself to others on the internet, in your work, or in your town.</p><p>Your journey is <strong>unique</strong> to you because only you know your <strong>WHY</strong>, <strong>WHAT</strong>, and your <strong>PLAN</strong>.</p><p>Don&#8217;t try to compete with the <strong>world</strong> or impress anyone.</p><p>Compete <strong>only</strong> with yesterday&#8217;s version of yourself.</p><p><strong>Be better for yourself.</strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://newsletter.lukascabaj.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p></p>]]></content:encoded></item></channel></rss>