What Are You Built For?
Day 41 - 47 / 1000
Most people don't break because life is too hard.
They break because they never learned what they can actually handle.
This week, I wrote about pain, fun, health, and the uncomfortable truth that comfort might be the thing holding you back the most.
Here is what has been on my mind this week:
Endure
Wisdom tooth
Health is everything
Having fun
Give yourself a break
Opening up
Dive deeper
1. Endure
How much can you endure?
Life is constantly testing us one way or another.
And what do we do?
We run away from our problems, trying to reach a destination where there are no problems in our lives.
We are missing a key thing.
The problems in life are not bugs; they are features.
There will never be a place or time in your life when everything will be perfect.
Perfection is an illusion that we believed for far too long.
The only certainty is that at one point, things in your life will be shit, you will mess up, make mistakes, and it’s going to hurt and be humiliating.
But that’s not why I write this.
I’m not writing this to be negative, or pessimistic, or trying to bring you down.
This is about how much you can endure.
I used to believe for way too long that the life I live and, in general, the world we live in is pretty, prosperous, and kind.
The opposite is true. And always was, to be honest.
You can read some books on evolution, politics, and history. You will clearly see that we were always cruel, we always wished for power and control, one way or another.
But that’s not the main theme either. I’m not a specialist on these topics.
What I’m trying to bring across the table for you is that you shouldn't get too comfortable.
We are facing a comfort crisis.
People are lazy and default to comfort and binge-watching social media instead of pushing themselves into daily uncomfortable situations and places.
How much can you really endure?
In a physical and psychological manner.
There was no better time and space in your life to build yourself up.
Go and start working out, read books, have challenging conversations, and learn new skills.
Don’t default to basics because you never know what is awaiting you in the future, and the skills you might need to survive.
Be better for yourself, your loved ones, the ones in need, your community, strangers, and the world.
So, how much can you endure?
2. Wisdom tooth
How do you deal with pain?
The biggest enemy of us all is pain.
Everything in our lives can go according to plan.
It can even seem perfect when suddenly tooth pain hits, knee issues appear, or your back feels so stiff that you can barely rotate.
What do we do in these situations?
When our body is in pain, our mind often weakens.
The same voice of willpower you had to go to the gym every morning is suddenly telling you to stay in bed and take another painkiller because you couldn’t even sleep because of the pain.
Everyone has a different pain threshold, and each of us experiences pain differently.
Yet we all know the feeling when we can’t even focus on doing everyday things because the pain is so persistent and annoying.
I know this feeling well. Not long ago, my wisdom tooth decided to make my life miserable.
Everything in me wanted to get more sleep.
The day before, my tooth was already making sure that I suffered.
The painkillers barely did anything, and I was questioning my life at work.
Why me again?
Guess what, it didn’t help to question my life.
I had a run on my schedule that day, which was going to be everything but fun.
If you know the feeling, with every bounce of the stride, the pain hits the nerve, making it even more present.
But I went anyway.
Our minds will always try to play with us and convince us that we don’t need to do the hard things.
It is for a simple reason. Our minds are programmed from evolution to keep us safe.
Which doesn’t always mean that we should listen to these instincts.
This, too, is a way to build a stronger mind.
Pushing through the pain is teaching us a lot.
It shows us that we can do more than we thought we could.
On the other hand, keep in mind that despite this, we are all mortals.
Pursue big and hard things. Just don’t get killed in the process of achieving them.
Face death often, but don’t let it take you before your time comes.
What is your pain threshold for life situations?
3. Health is everything
Do we actually care about our health?
Looking at today’s world, we see two opposite camps.
On one hand, there are people turning into athletes, tracking everything that they eat and drink, and raising the bar for everyone around them since COVID.
On the other hand, we have people who believe they can eat whatever they want, as much as they want, without raising any awareness.
And it’s not only about food.
It is about everything we do.
Our lives were never built on perfection of one thing.
Our lives are built on all the things connected.
From daily movement, nutritious food, maintenance of our mental health, strong bonds with loved ones and connections with peers, to financial prosperity.
Health is everything above and much more.
At the same time it all boils down to one single thing.
When we are healthy and fit, no one stops to think about what it would be like if we weren’t.
One thing happens and we become suddenly limited. It’s like everything stops.
Our motivation and willpower drift to places we have never seen.
Be thankful for the health you have before it diminishes.
You will meet a version of yourself you never thought you had inside of you.
Go and do something for your health today.
4. Having fun
How do you have fun in life?
How can a person even answer such a question, when everyone perceives fun differently?
What is fun for me doesn’t need to be fun for you, and vice versa.
What can most people agree on is that fun is more fun when people have a drink or two, right?
I was definitely one of them.
Big promoter of alcohol and fun connected with it.
After a certain age, and after certain experiences, things started to change.
It was still fun to go outside but it was less and less fun the next day.
Especially when I started doing sports and working out regularly.
Missing a workout started to feel like a big tradeoff for that one night of fun before.
My priorities and perception of fun started to shift.
I would prefer daytime activities over nights out.
For a very simple reason.
Energy.
My energy and willingness to do things increased extremely when I went to bed early and woke up early.
Suddenly, I felt I could do so much more with my time and with my options.
It was an instant boost in confidence and self-belief.
So I decided to take on a challenge.
No alcohol for 1000 days.
It was my first 1000-day challenge I ever gave myself.
The reason was simple:
I wanted to re-learn how to have fun in life without needing a drink.
It was strange and odd for the first couple of months.
As young teenagers, we started drinking at the age of 15. It was the age when you start going out with friends and exploring the world and options around you.
When all of this time is connected with alcohol your brain makes the connection.
Fun = Alcohol.
A couple of years later you go out and you need to drive, let’s say.
You find yourself being uncomfortable in your own skin, being out and not drinking because you don’t know how to behave.
Something that was always automatic for you is suddenly a whole thinking process full of questions.
How should I stand here so I don’t look too serious or boring?
What should I say to these strangers?
I don’t get this joke, why should I laugh?
Was going out always so boring?
Do I even know these people?
Am I friends with these people just because of the shared history, or do I actually like these people?
It can be frightening to some because it feels like a completely new, undiscovered world.
We tend to think we already know how the world works, that we've figured out the basics, and that this should be something we've already mastered.
Or at least that’s how I felt thinking about all the parties and events I went to between being 15 and 25.
What came after a couple of months of doing this challenge was unexpected.
I not only started having fun going out, but I also started really enjoying being sober all the time.
I went to concerts, parties, solo trips, and weddings, and it all felt so good without even a drop of alcohol.
So, how do you have fun in life?
By your own terms.
The path I chose was life-changing for me.
But it doesn’t mean it’s for everyone.
How do you have fun in your life?
5. Give yourself a break
How and when to give yourself a break?
If you are anything like me there is no break in our schedule.
There is only work and questions on how to achieve more.
But have you ever thought about the fact that you might be chasing the wrong thing?
That all this work you are putting in is pointless because instead of pulling something closer to you, you are actually pushing it further away?
One thing, which is hard, even though I still learn how to execute this properly, is to take a break.
The story which society was feeding us with is that you need to have everything figured out by 30 and be successful because otherwise you are a loser, and behind, and I don’t know what else. It’s a lie.
Six years ago I thought that by this age I need to have a house, car, and kid on the way.
Today I know myself better and also understand life much better.
My priorities, values, and principles have changed and I look at life very differently than I did back then.
If I wouldn’t have changed my perspective on life and rushed myself into everything I mentioned, my life would look very different today.
By that said, I don’t mean to depreciate people who start families early, or say that there is something bad about it, as long as you really want it.
What I’m trying to say you here is don't feel pressured by society and others telling you what you should achieve by what time.
We might have different timelines in life, but the same time I have, you have too.
Sometimes to see the bigger picture where you are heading you need to step back and look at your life from above, from a different perspective.
Sometimes the best way to move forward is actually to take a break.
As I mentioned before, it’s hard to take a break in today’s world because everything around us is telling us to go even faster, to aim for even bigger things, to achieve more than beyond what is achievable.
And I’m not surprised.
Look at social media.
All you see is successful people living great lives, traveling, buying expensive things, eating at great restaurants, having the best time all the time.
And the algorithm is serving this to you on a silver platter every day and quietly feeding your brain with doubts.
No wonder then questions about what you have done wrong in your life and why you also don’t live a life like that start creeping on you.
Here comes an important lesson, or two.
First, don’t trust everything you see on the internet. It sounds cliché but it’s more true than ever before.
Second, don’t compare yourself and your life to anyone else.
As I said, you have time.
Figure out for yourself what you want your life to look like.
What taking a break doesn’t mean:
It doesn’t mean turning into a lazy couch potato.
It doesn’t mean staying home all the time and not socializing.
It doesn’t mean drinking and taking drugs.
It doesn’t mean being unemployed.
It doesn’t mean to stop trying.
And it doesn’t mean to stop wanting a better life for yourself and your family.
And much more.
Taking a break means that you give yourself the time you need to understand yourself better to make better choices on your journey.
Taking a break can mean to dedicate time every week to relax and do something you purely enjoy and have fun with.
Or plan a vacation with your partner, or even alone, and go explore something new.
It’s not about doing less. It’s about doing more of what you truly enjoy and what is recharging you.
Go and achieve great things in life, you deserve it.
Aim big, because the sky is only the starting line, not a limit.
Just stay true to yourself, your values, and your principles.
There is no universal metric for a successful and meaningful life.
You are the one who is giving your life meaning, not anyone else.
Make it count.
6. Opening up
Do you talk about your emotions?
Talking about emotions and being open about what’s happening inside has gone many ways in the last couple of years in society.
Women usually never have a problem with expressing emotions on the surface and showing others on the outside if they are sad, happy, or angry.
They just know how to do it and are better at this than men ever will be.
Men on the other hand historically almost always had a tougher time knowing how to express their emotions, or how to show them on the surface in a public setting.
In the last couple of years men have been facing a lot of criticism.
One side is criticising men about their toxic masculinity and the other is criticising them for being way too emotional.
Sometimes it is hard to know what to do.
Just to be clear here. I didn’t mean to offend anyone.
It is obviously your decision.
But being able to talk about your emotions can be really helpful.
Not only for communication with others but also for communication with yourself.
What is your stand on this?
7. Dive deeper
How do you build the life you want?
This is the million dollar question everyone is asking themselves.
It’s not about money, status, or power.
It is about the different individual needs and dreams which each one of us has.
You want to be a rich rockstar singer flying around the world in private jets.
Your friend wants to be a fireman in the neighbourhood and dreams about owning a lot of cats.
Your cousin is dreaming about her own café with a little bakery and hoping to meet her future husband during volunteer work.
The combinations of these realities are endless and the possible outcomes too.
That would probably mean that there can’t be one universal formula for building the life you want, right?
Today’s internet gurus would argue with me because they want to sell you some unique course or retreat in Bali for a couple of thousands so you can buy something that is not possible to buy.
No one else in this world knows what, where, how, and why you want it.
It’s a lonely journey first as you need to dive deeper inside of you to discover what is there for you to be uncovered.
Once you know yourself from within, you will have a clear understanding which path is for you to take and what is awaiting you there at the end.
The easier part comes after this.
Once you have your vision, you need to put the work in.
That’s where discipline comes into place and often sacrifices.
Don’t look at the sacrifices you will need to make during this journey as something bad. The world will try to get you off course and offer a lot of shiny objects to distract you.
Remember your why, and continue to build the life you want.
What does your life design look like?
I aim to deliver the most personal stories, insights, and lessons from real-world experiences I have lived through over the past decade. As I continue building my life and trying to be a better version of myself, I am documenting this journey and the lessons from my life for people who might need to hear them.
- Lukáš