What's Waiting Inside of You
Day 34 - 40 / 1000
Most of the paths in front of you have already been walked by someone else.
That doesn’t make them wrong.
But the one no one has walked yet?
That one is yours.
This week, I wrote about choosing, enduring, and discovering what’s been waiting inside of you all along.
Here is what has been on my mind this week:
Crossroad of decisions
Ego
Perfectionism is not going to serve you
Role models
Pivot
You are a valuable person
Beyond the gold standard
1. Crossroad of decisions
The power of the unknown.
As we grow up and become adults, we often face crossroads in our decisions.
The different paths to choose from.
One is heading into the unknown, leaving us uncertain about the final destination without promise.
The second is leading us somewhere safe, somewhere where the outcome can be foreseen.
Neither of these two paths is good or bad.
Our consciousness will give them the label afterwards anyway.
What these moments present to us is a choice.
A choice which can, and will, radically change our life. That’s inevitable.
So how do you choose?
Choose the path of the unknown if you are willing to discover hidden parts of yourself and experience both highs and lows.
Remember, there is no certainty, and no promise of reward on this path.
The only thing that is promised is that there is growth, and there might be untouched potential to be reached with unimaginable return at the end.
Be aware of the risk. Be aware of the fact that it can be the best or the worst decision you will make.
Choose the safe path if you want to put your laser focus on the destination from the start.
People did it before. The roadblocks were already discovered and can be therefore avoided, or at least dealt with with more resources.
You know what you can expect from the outcome.
But be aware of the fact that just because others made it there and the road seems to be already uncovered, that you can’t assume you won’t fail.
As I said at the beginning, neither of these two paths is better than the other.
Ask yourself which path appeals to you more and go for it. Don’t waste time choosing the perfect one because there is none.
I think you already know which one to choose.
Just look inside of you.
Where are you heading right now?
2. Ego
Is the ego really an enemy?
Many of you have probably read the book from Ryan Holiday called Ego is the Enemy.
Our ego is something that is always with us, in every situation.
It takes a lot of skills to learn how to tame it and control it, especially when situations escalate to certain heights.
We often hear about ego in bad lighting.
We see world politicians making decisions purely out of their narcissistic and egoistic nature and the only thing left for us to think is, how the f*ck can this person be the head of the country.
But there are times when ego can also have a positive effect on you and on the situation you are in.
Maybe you have a public speaking event coming up. Maybe you need to deal with a hard conversation at work.
These situations require you to trust yourself and be confident so you can deliver what matters to you.
What you do is tap into your ego to gain that extra self-trust and confidence, so you can manage those situations.
What you don’t want to do is think that you are the smartest person in the room, or that nothing can surprise you.
Be strong and confident, but don’t be a fool, thinking you've made it and that no one is smarter or better than you.
That will bring you down.
What is your perception of ego in your life?
3. Perfectionism is not going to serve you
How to prepare for something important to you?
Since we were kids, we have known the feeling of preparing for something important to us, something exciting.
First, it was a kindergarten show for parents where we demonstrated our strengths.
Then it was maybe our first school sports match or singing show.
Most of the time, our thoughts and feelings were connected with excitement and joy.
We couldn’t even sleep the night before because we wanted it to happen so badly.
Now my question. Do you feel like this in your adult life when something important is about to happen?
When you need to prepare for a presentation or perhaps a meeting.
Most people would say no.
The excitement and joy we used to feel back then have now turned into too much coffee, stress, anxiety, and sleepless nights.
The core of it didn’t change.
There is some performance awaited from us, there are going to be people looking at us, and once it is over we can go home again as we did before.
So why do we behave like this?
How do we prepare for something important?
The key lies in the expectations. Not from others, but from our own expectations we put on ourselves.
Often, we want to be perfect.
We want to land every line, change the slides at the perfect moment, get smiles from specific people, and receive a pat on the shoulder and a firm handshake afterward.
Perfectionism is not going to serve you for a long period.
So lower your expectations, give yourself a pat on the shoulder the day before, relax a bit, and have a good night’s sleep.
It doesn’t matter what others think. You can’t go in their minds and change things.
Each of us is a special individual, and in the work context, even more so.
Try to find that excitement and joy you used to feel as a kid before your sports match or singing show.
Be you, not just the boring and overstressed adult.
We are going to die one day anyway, so why make our days here miserable?
4. Role models
What is inspiration, and how does it affect us?
Throughout our lives, we find inspiration in many different places and people.
We place these people on a pedestal like our heroes and role models.
We firmly agree with what they say, think, and preach.
But sometimes it can go too far, and we end up just blindly following these role models, like sheep.
We promote them in front of our family and friends, we share them on social media, and we even end up thinking of them as friends and that they are loyal to us, just as we are to them.
Well, that’s usually not the case.
There was a time when I was blindly following some close friends, but also social media world figures.
Here's what this costs.
I used to have a friend whom I would blindly follow and do whatever he would do.
Back then, that meant trying weed for the first time, drinking on weekends. Then I started smoking weed more often, eventually even trying different drugs.
In my eyes, he was the cool guy.
He had girls, was always up for fun, and made me feel cool, too.
After some time, things with him started getting a bit more shady.
He would start selling drugs and meet with people from these circles more often because of the easier access to different drugs and opportunities.
He would also become extremely unreliable.
We would agree to meet to go out, and he wouldn’t show up.
He wouldn’t answer the phone, always had excuses, and would cancel meetups when I would already be on my way.
When things with someone get to the point that you feel that it’s just effort from your side and the other person doesn’t care and respect you anymore, it’s time to reconsider your friends.
I did the same.
After all these situations, I realized what kind of influence this guy had on me during those years.
I cut him off from my life, and things changed for the better.
Another example would be more recent.
I liked this podcaster very much.
His words and insights resonated with me so much, and to be honest, they still do, but that’s another topic.
At the beginning, when I discovered him, I was, again, just blindly following whatever he said, including the advertisement spots in his show.
I started looking at the products he was suggesting, as they would be the best way to go.
And so I ended up using supplements that I didn’t need and that weren’t really doing anything for over 6 months, and spending so much money on them.
Because of what? Just because some dude on the internet said that it’s best?
Don’t trust everything your favorite creators say on the internet.
They are being paid for those words a lot of the time, if not all the time.
Do your research, think about it yourself, and ask hard questions before you start buying things you either don’t need or that are not useful for you.
To finalize this.
What I meant by all of this is that you should choose your inspiration and role models carefully.
You never know how much impact they can have on you, and whether that impact will be positive or negative for your life.
Who is your role model right now, and why?
5. Pivot
Pivot or endure?
We face these two questions all the time.
With whatever we start in our life, it might be a new project, a new skill we want to acquire, a new relationship, or a new job.
Sooner or later, we are going to hit a point where we’ll face the decision if we should pivot to do and focus on something else because this thing, this path we thought was going to bring us somewhere, is not working anymore.
Or, no matter the roadblock and hard times, I’m going to continue and bring this thing to the finish.
For a very long time, even at the time of writing this, I was enslaved to the idea of always pivoting and trying different things.
I believed that if I tried a lot of things it would help me find my passion, my calling, my thing. Call it however you want.
What I didn’t understand until now is that this is costing you time, the most valuable asset you have.
On one hand it is important to try things out in your 20s, absolutely.
On the other hand, by never finishing anything and just always jumping on the next shiny object, you can never really learn to do the one thing properly and never taste the potential success and mastery of doing that and bringing it to the finish line.
There is a place and time for a pivot.
But that decision should come from a complete understanding of the reason behind it.
Are you pivoting because this project is really nothing you want to do?
It’s sh*t, it’s sinking, causing stress, your life is misery, and you can’t even think about another day of continuing?
Or is progress just too slow and you want money and success now instead of in 5 years?
You already know the answer.
6. You are a valuable person
The power of your origin story.
I recently heard a very interesting point of view on personal branding.
This guy on a podcast said, “If anyone in the world can say something about you, you have a personal brand.”
I really liked it for two reasons.
First, it shows us that everyone has value.
We often think that we are not enough despite the fact that we are doing the best we can in the given moment. And I’m guilty of this myself.
The standard and perfection I’m setting for myself are often so high that anything else than success is a failure.
And even the victory, it’s just okay.
It comes down to our own perceived value and self-love.
Maybe it was someone in school when you were young, or someone at home who taught you that it doesn’t matter how much you tried, you could have always done better.
For me it’s a lifelong journey from discovering to understanding what it is today.
I’m not trying to only understand it but also work on to be less cruel with myself and allow myself to celebrate the small and big wins in life.
That brings me back to that quote.
Hearing that everyone has basically a personal brand also means for me, in translation, that basically everyone is a valuable person.
Not only from now on, or from yesterday, but from the moment you are born.
You are born as a valuable person, and you will die as a valuable person.
Your only task with this in your life is to understand that fact, to be aware of it, and keep reminding yourself often that you are indeed a valuable person.
Second, you can be whoever you want, doing whatever brings joy to you, and you will still matter.
It’s not meant in a way that you need to build something extraordinary now.
It’s meant to show you to not be afraid to chase your dreams and goals, because it doesn’t matter what path you choose to go with, you mean something.
Do you struggle with self-worth and self-love?
7. Beyond the gold standard
Never ignore your physical capabilities.
Working on your physical strength and endurance of your body is one of the most important tasks in your life.
Not only is it the direct precursor of your longevity, but it is also a source of energy, motivation, and confidence.
Seeing your body slowly transforming into better shape and getting stronger is one of the most satisfying moments in life.
It is a direct mirror of the hard work you have put into it.
It doesn’t matter if you are a man or woman.
You need to do some form of physical exercise.
You might not think about this when you are 20.
You feel like life just started, you want to go out and have fun with friends, and the last thing you think about is your health because everything is working smoothly.
I get it. I have been there.
But I was also on the other side of the spectrum.
Where my body was exceeding my expectations of physical strength and endurance.
Distances which would never cross my mind I would be able to run were suddenly my regular training, and it felt amazing.
Weights I never thought I would be able to lift were regular training.
It is your responsibility to uncover what is waiting inside of you.
Don’t spend life being average and thinking that sitting in front of the TV with beer and chips is the gold standard. It’s not.
You can be better than you think.
You can be better for yourself, not for anyone else out there.
Will you?
I aim to deliver the most personal stories, insights, and lessons from real-world experiences I have lived through over the past decade. As I continue building my life and trying to be a better version of myself, I am documenting this journey and the lessons from my life for people who might need to hear them.
- Lukáš